People’s Choice Awards – Live with CoupleDumb
7:30 We are watching the red carpet event for the people’ choice awards, streaming live on peopleschoice.com. We’re already a little pissed that it is not on TV. Right now we have a whole bunch of nobodies walking down the carpet. A teenager just stepped out of a limo and thinks that it is her prom.
7:33 Some producer does not know that her mic is live and is talking shit about eye lines or something.
7:35 These people must be from the CW because they are young and we do not know who the fuck they are.
7:44 Wait, isn’t that… no nevermind. It’s not.
7:48 OK, we knew someone. Hayley from Paramore. Only because our daughter likes the band and Lee is a cool momma.
7:53 Yeah, some Glee people! Glee. Glee. Glee.
7:58 Who the hell are you?
8:15 Is it bad that we do not know the actresses or the show? Make it or break it? It has to be one of those shows geared to teens that make a parent want to shoot themselves.
8:17 Big Bang people! Paul loves Big Bang. Also trys to read the equations in the background. Paul says: I hope that they win a Nobel Prize. What awards show is this?
8:22 Katy somebody is wearing a dress that looks like she put it on backwards and then slapped some New Year’s party favors on the shoulders.
8:26 …and now we are back to the z-listers.
8:36 We are thinking ‘alcohol’.
8:38 Carrie Underwood is engaged. What a rock!?!
8:45 Willow! OK, we know that she does stuff after Buffy but we don’t watch any of it. So she will forever be Willow to us.
9:00 Thank God, we are watching the live show on CBS. And Queen L. Now we are talking!
9:06 We live Ellen.
9:07 Best comedy movie – The Proposal. OK, not bad. It was cute. Lee thinks Ryan R is cute and Paul like Sandra.
9:09 OMG, they are doing previews. Paul loves, loves, loves previews. Lee is happy that Russel Crow got rid of the fat.
9:17 Love Cloris but hate Flatts.
9:18 Favorite R&B – Mariah Carey. Shit. Wanted Keys. Oh well. Hey, is she drunk again?
9:22 Is everyone drunk on this show?
9:23 Favorite Comedy actor on TV – Steve Carell. Yes he is funny but we would like to be right once tonight.
9:25 Favorite TV Comedy Actress – Alyson Hannigan. Willow. OK. we are wrong again. Apparently we do not have the pulse of anything.
9:27 Mari from JBugJewelry.com wants to know if Eric Estrada is hosting.
9:35 Favorite TV Comedy – Big Bang! We got one!
9:37 And now Mary J. Blige is looking all pretty and sophisticated but we think we see bruises on her knuckles from beating her husband.
9:45 Favorite Country Artist – Taylor Swift did not win. Carrie Underwood did but Imma gonna tell you…
9:48 Favorite Drama TV Actor – Hugh Laurie? WTF? Paul soooooooo hates that show. Please send responses to firstname.lastname@example.org Hey, he talks funny.
9:52 Does anyone remember the original Clash of the Titans? With Mark Harmon and a cheesy owl and the Kracken with a zipper in the back?
9:58 Orale Georgie!
10:00 Favorite Movie Actress – Sandra Bullock. Now Lee is saying that Sandra is going to win it all. She should have said that earlier. We only have one right so far.
10:02 Now the great psychic, Lee, is saying Bullock for the Oscar. We’ll see…
10:03 Favorite Action Star – Hugh Jackman. We might have got this right. And now he dances.
10:13 Favorite Breakout Movie Actor – Taylor Lautner. Would he win if he kept his clothes on?
10:16 CVS? Where is the extremely slow service? Next time we are bring a camera crew.
10:22 Favorite Male Artist – Van Gogh. Just kidding. Keith Urban. Lee had that hair in the ’70s.
10:35 Favorite Web Celeb – It better be us. Anyone else is shit. Simple as that.
10:38 Favorite New TV Drama – Vampire Diaries. Whatever. We didn’t win Web Celeb.
10:40 Favorite New TV Comedy – Glee! Now that is better. We love this show. And they are doing a pizza commercial. Paul is so confused.
10:47 Favorite Female Artist – Taylor Swift. And Kanye is pissed. But there is another black man on stage. Quick, get the mic.
10:55 Favorite Movie Actor – Johnny Depp. Paul got one right. And Depp is the People’s Choice Actor of the decade.
10:58 Why do actors need to look like bag people. Johnny, buy some new jeans. And where did you get the accent.
And we are done. Goodnight. It’s time to watch some non-winning TV.