No Cats, Please

Lee says that all the time.

          No one can make you angry. You choose to lose your mind. Yes, we are going to get all philosophical and shit on a Friday. So stop thinking about the weekend and focus up. We are still talking about losing your mind here in our CoupleDumb.


          Paul says: Nowadays, when a song comes on the radio, I find myself listening to the lyrics for messed up relationship shit. You know, the stuff that we are constantly rallying against on CoupleDumb. Songs like Taylor Swift’s Love Story that compares their love to Romeo and Juliet’s without giving any acknowledgement that R & J kill them self at the end. For me, that is an important little piece of plot that people seem to forget. So I listen to the songs, analyze them like God’s quality assurance tech, and assign them a rank between ‘not that fucked up’ and ‘lyricist was raised by cannibals’. OK, it has changed my radio listening habits from rocking out in the car into something like cataloguing subatomic particles. Then again, I’m alright with that.


          One of the songs that has passed the crazy song test is Pink’s Please Don’t Leave Me. The basic theme of the song is ‘I’m crazy and can’t stop yelling. Please don’t leave me’. Unlike other songs that seem to forget the ‘I’m crazy’ part and ask the listener to accept the dysfunction as normal, this song has an amount of insight which is really the trick to any good bout of mind-losing.  It is the theme song for every stupid ‘why am I saying this’ moment in our lives. There is a huge difference between having something slip out of your mouth faster than you can catch it compared to having a constant case of foul verbal diarrhea and a surprised look on your face because you can’t understand why people would be offended. After all, the person really was fat so why not just call him that?


          This week we have been talking about losing our minds but, in reality, it is not the losing that is the important part but the gain that we get once the mind has been freed. Whether it is the good side of the force or the dark side, whatever is provoking that momentary loss of sanity is sending us a message. It may be the trapped inner child or the angry shadow that needs to be heard. These are archetypes within us that need to be recognized. Let’s be real, when we talk about an inner child trying to get out, we are not recreating a scene from Alien or something out of Island of the Alive. If you have a baby clawing its way out of your belly then you have other issues greater than stable relationships.


          Whether we call them archetypes, metaphors for life, or give them their own endearing little names like Sister Nazi, these things inside of us need to be acknowledged and understood. If not, then those brief moments of losing your mind give way to truly losing it, living alone, and having too many cats.


           Lee says: I have been quite mum on this whole losing it issue. Why you ask? I think it should be obvious that between Paul and myself, I am the ranter. He is the quiet guy who could end up in a bell tower holding a copy of ‘Catcher in the Rye’ while shooting indiscriminately at passer bys because they remind them of people from high school. I am the cornered animal that the handlers saw go berserk because they put too much mayo in her tuna fish sandwich and now they’ve surrounded her with twenty guys with cattle prods and riot gear. I’m the one who spouts off thirty obscenities if you cut me off while driving and can make a sailor cringe if you are rude to me in a store.


          Losing it for me is a real possibility. I relate to that Pink song because the bitch stole it from me. Paul has the patience of a saint or at least he did until he tamed me. The need to keep a cattle prod next to him at least once a month is mostly unnecessary. With age I have mellowed. However, if you have noticed, I can muster up a good rant for Celebrity Smackdowns and the WTFs. I think we have them so I can let my little hellion out to play a couple times a week.


You have to release those feelings you know. This is a lesson I learned long ago. If you let those feelings build, you will explode like a powder keg. That barrel of deposited anger can blow and the fallout is worse than the things that caused the anger in the first place. I am working on my feelings and I refuse to let my family suffer my rants or the anger overflow because I won’t take care of my emotional release in a healthy manner. Besides, I can’t let myself lose it too much. I’m allergic to cats.

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