Male Entitlement And Infidelity
Men are born with certain advantages. For one, the world is geared toward men and certain aspects of life, like wealth and success, are easier for men than women. Don’t believe me? Men are portrayed as hard working in all forms of media and, at the end of the day, they deserve a beer and a blowjob for their trouble. Still don’t believe me? Have you ever watched TV before? The minimizing of a woman’s work is seen not only in old timey TV shows that depicted the wife wearing high heels and a lovely skirt all while making sure her man was comfy after a hard day. Meanwhile, nothing was mentioned about what the woman had to do all day or how that meal magically appeared on the table or if the kids were alive or how the laundry was done or the floor mopped or vacuumed. That stuff was easy, right?
Male entitlement is the belief that men are entitled to sex whenever they want. They are taught that lack of ejaculation can lead to pain and discomfort. They are taught that ‘no’ means ‘yes’ and women are teases. They are taught that they have no control over their urges and the way a woman acts, dresses or speaks is an invitation to have sex. They are reminded everyday on the news that consent can be given by a little girl or a woman if she is inebriated.
What does male entitlement have to do with infidelity? For most men who stray, this belief is at the very foundation of their infidelity. If you believe that the reason behind infidelity is solely sex then you probably also think that rape is about intimacy. Infidelity is a statement. For men, infidelity is a symbolic desire to express to the world that they will not be tamed by a wife and a ring. These men want to act like they are single while still living the life a married man. They glorify their days of being unattached, of course forgetting the loneliness and lack of sex, but focusing on the unencumbered frivolity of being a bachelor.
The mindfuck here is that confirmed bachelors are not really happy. George Clooney is hardly a wild bachelor since he is usually seen with a woman with whom he tends to stay with for a while. He is a serial monogamist. He won’t marry because his first marriage scarred him. Married men who look at single men and convince themselves that they have it all are the ones who are creating the myth.
Sex with someone other than your wife is not a conquest but a pathetic attempt to regain some of that freedom that you had when you were single. The fantasy of each guy being Don Juan is the stuff of sitcoms and corny movies but hardly reality. For most philanderers, it is the fantasy of being the big swinging dick that fuels their passions. The sex is secondary.