Live Blogging of the 2011 Golden Globes
Hello to all. It is time for the pre-game show for the Golden Globes. This is the time where Paul yells at the TV, ‘Who the hell are you’ and Lee tries to explain then quickly gives up.
So here goes the Golden Globe Red Carpet.
And now Paul turns to Lee and asks, ‘What are the Golden Globes; music, TV, movies?’
Ryan has never worn a dress. Yeah, sure.
The Big Bang chick is wearing a wedding ring that is not a wedding ring. Smart.
GlamCam then LimoCam. Paul wants the ShitterCam. Lee wants the DrunkenHookupCam.
We are drinking champagne and watching commercials interrupted by some Golden Globe Red Carpet. Join us. Lift a glass.
Jen Love Hewitt looks like her boyfriend’s mom.
Lee says that Chris Hemsworth is cute. Actually, she said, ‘Holy God!’ but I’m translating into ‘He is above average but you are cuter, Paul’ OK, apparently Guilianna thinks he is above average also. His voice was vibrating her clit.
If you pushed both of Jayme Mays’ boobs together, she still wouldn’t have one good boob.
Scott Caan is itsy bitsy. He is a pocket 50er. He is a lolly pop guild dude.
Modern Family girl is talking but we want Natalie Portman. Actually, Lee wants her boyfriend.
And now, Piper Perabo also known as the ‘How the fuck did she get nominated?’ girl. But she is dressed pretty but she’s not going to win.
Helena Bonham Carter looks like she rolled a homeless person for her clothes. Ok, two homeless people since she has two different shoes.
Scarlet Johanson apparently got caught in a windtunnel.
Justin Beaver… Beiber and her boyfriend. Or is that Chas Bono?
The bangs make Sandra Bullock look like an Afgan Hound.
Aretha Franklin wants Hlle Berry to play her. Halle needs to gain 300 pounds to make it work.
Heidi Klum decided to dress in scarved.
Christian Bale is on his meds again ’cause he is smiling… appropriately.
7:57 Dear God, start the fucking show!!!!!
I love Ricky Gervais!!!!
The first presenter is the bride of Frankenstein.
Best Supporting Actor – Christian Bale. Now he can get back to drinking.
LL. We know that you do not have hair.
Best Actress – Katy Segal. For a show that we have never seen. We do not do biker shows because…well, Paul already has the hair, attitude and hygene.
OK, what happens if Lee doesn’t get at least 50% correct? A spanking is not an incentive.
Best TV or miniseries – Carlos. UUUUHHHH, what? Que?
Best Supporting Actor in TV, Miniseries – Chris Colfer. Yes, first one right tonight.
Best Actor – TV Drama. Steve Buscemi. OK, the guy is talented but looks like Igor.
Ok, Lee is at 50% so this means that she gets a spanking?
Best TV Drama – Boardwalk Empire. Damn, no spanking. Guess she needs to spank me.
Best Original Song, Motion Picture – You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me. And Cher is singing it. Is that correct?
Best Original Score – Social Network. This is the same guy that sang ‘I want to fuck you like an animal’.
Best Animated Feature – Toy Story 3 – Is it sad that we saw more of the animated movies then any other types?
Best Actress in Motion Picture – Annette Bening and her combless hair.
Sylvester Stalloine looks like he is melting.
Actor in Miniseries or TV Movie – Al Pacino. A man thaty gets dressed, sticks a fork in an outlet, then heads out.
Actress in Miniseries or TV Movie – Claire Danes. Way to go autism.
Lee got both Al and Claire. WhooWhoo. Spankings all around.
Best Screenplay – Aaron Sorkin – ’cause Zuckerberg allowed it.
Supporting Actress in TV – Jane Lynch. Nothing bad to say. Lee is upset that Jane wouldn’t appreciate her presenters.
Best Foreign Language film – In A Better World and we do not care.
Best Actress in TV Comedy or Musical – Laura Linney. Lee got this right and we are all surprised.
Best Actor in TV Comedy or Musical – Jim Parsons. Go Geeks!!!! Lee got this one too! Oh yes, the Reyes-Fournier home will be rocking tonight.
Supporting Actress Motion Picture – Melissa Leo.
Best Director Motion Picture – David Fincher (Social Network) – OK, I guess we need to see this movie.
Best TV Series, Comedy or Musical – Glee. Yes!!!! Of course Lee said Glee because it is awesome. Do the little lilt when you read ‘awesome’.
Best Actor in Motion Picture Comedy or Musical – Paul Giamatti beat out Johnny Depp and Johnny Depp.
Best Acress in a Motion Picture: Natalie Portman- actors are always rewarded when they lose there minds on screen.
Best Motion Picture Comedy or Musical – The Kids Are Alright. Lee gave it to them using the theory that, if we have never heard of it, it will win.
Best Actor in Motion Picture Drama – Colin Firth ’cause he’s all sophisticated and shit.
Best Motion Picture Drama – Social Network. A concept created by antisocial people.
And we are out. Time to pay up to Lee for her great percentage.