I’ll have the independence with a side of bipolar.

Mom? Is that you?  

Buenos Diaz our faithful readers and Happy Heavy Monday!  We hope your weekend was pleasant and you had the opportunity of spending some time outside during the first weekend of Spring.  The weather in Miami was interesting; warm, then rain, then cool, then sunny.  It was switching up so much it reminded us of the topic of the week.  WOMEN!

Lee says: As a woman, I know I will get in some trouble for what I am about to say.  However, CoupleDumb is committed to being honest and to the idea that we can educate and entertain.  Edutainment!  So what can I say about me and my gender that hasn’t been said before.  We are soft and rough and tender and cruel and powerful and weak and beautiful and ugly.  All this can happen in a minute! 

          As we mentioned last week, men are rule makers.  But men do something very interesting to us females, they write it down. They even bind it for us in the forms of policies or playbooks or directions.  They want their rules to be known and understood so we all play the same game.  Women, on the other hand, are also rule makers. However, we create rules for the purpose of creating relationship.  As supervisors, we tend to want consensus and harmony.  The problem we have is that we never really bother to inform anyone of the rules. 

          Women have a tendency to want people to guess at their intentions or assume that people should understand them.  For men, who operate like computers (data in/solution out), this is extremely perplexing.  We are of the belief that men should understand our behaviors and extrapolate from them how we feel.  If we are smiling but silent, does that mean we are content or does it mean we just poured rat poison in our hubby’s food?  If we are frowning and looking out the window, does it mean the FedEx guy hasn’t shown up with our latest cyber purchase or are we yearning for Giancarlo to come and take us back to Sardinia with him and escape our wretched lives?  How would he know?

          For years men have said that women are complicated and we simply laugh at them.  We think they are stunted and stupid for not understanding us.  But let’s be honest, why would they?  We don’t explain things and when we do, we tend to blame them for our moods.  We go into a relationship believing that it will be the panacea of all our woes to find out that our woes are still there and now compounded by this guy who keeps asking us ‘what’s wrong?’  Ladies, we are the architects of our discontent and the directors of our own soap operas. 

          We have no hope really.  How many of us read Harlequin romances growing up?  While boys were creating teams and fighting dragons, we were fantasizing about being whisked away and taken to a castle in Scotland (wait a second, I still fantasize about that).  We cut our teeth on syrupy love stories and understood early on that we wanted a man to TAKE US!  Meanwhile, we were learning to stand up for ourselves and took self defense classes to learn how to kick a guy in the nuts so we would never be victimized.  We were encouraged to go to school and learn to never depend on a man.  But all that education never touched us where those romance novels did.  Learning to be independent didn’t make us tingle in those special parts.  That was Roderick’s job while standing on the bow of the galleon with his pirate shirt open.  He would save us from all that because he would take us and then let us be ourselves.  Right?

Paul says: I’m pulling out my tight jean and pirate shirt from the closet.

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