Husband With Pride


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          What makes a good husband? When it comes right down to it, being a good husband is just doing what it takes for your family.

          Pride is one of those odd words with a lot of meanings, all associated with the set of your chin or the venom in your voice when you say it. When we apply the word to a wife, it is a good thing albeit a bit antiquated. It is in the same category as saying she is handsome and broad of hip. These descriptions will get you a good ass kicking in our modern world but in reality, it is a compliment. Saying that my wife is handsome, prideful and wide of hips really means that she is sexy, handles her shit, and makes me think about making babies. In a Little House on the Prairie way, you can’t sing any higher praise.

          Unfortunately, saying that a husband has pride isn’t such a compliment. Usually when we use the word to talk about a man, it is synonymous with lazy or useless. My sister-in-law has an ex-husband and we are all very glad the ex is attached to that word. He was a proud man. He was too proud to get a job at his education level. He was too proud to say please and thank you. He was too proud to ever say yes.

          There were several things for which he was not too proud. It appeared that his pride did not stop him from letting his wife work two jobs while he sat at home, drinking and moping. Pride does not make you a good husband. Pride makes you an ex-husband.

          My last secret to being a good husband is to handle your shit. Do what needs to be done for the family. Get out of your own way and make your family the best that it can be, whether it is just the two of you or a baseball team worth of kids. In the past, I have schlepped Christmas trees. Sure, I loooooooovvvvve Christmas but that doesn’t mean that I am going to crawl up Santa’s ass thinking that it smells like cookies. I moved and sold Christmas trees because we needed the money. It was the season to spend money and I needed some. So my brother-in-law, Lee’s brother, and I got a gig at a tree lot. He did it because he is a good man who became a good husband and he was willing to do whatever it takes to earn a happy Christmas. We had a blast and it is still one of our favorite stories.

          There is an axiom to the rule. After you have waded in shit because that is what needed to be done, you do not come home and say, ‘look what I did for you’. You did it because you are a good husband. Did you miss the message here? Now, you can say, ‘Help me wash the shit off. And can you make me a sandwich?’

          You see, the reason that the wife can be prideful is because she is proud of you. It all goes back to the new PR campaign that I wrote about on Monday. Look at me, tying together themes. I’m so proud of myself.

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