Gotta Love It
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This week we are suggesting some ideas on how to keep the holidays sane. However, we haven’t really spoken as to why we get all weird around this time in the first place. Many people assume it is just the seasonal thing like leaves falling and snow but it has more to do with family of origin issues and childhood trauma. We are a Cracker Jack box of crunchy erroneous beliefs with the occasional delusional peanut and one special secret laden prize inside. This isn’t to say we are all crazy but we do approximate some symptoms of insanity.
Sometimes we don’t get what we want: Most people can say that the holidays were a disappointment. We woke up with visions of sugar plums dancing in our heads only to find an ugly sweater and socks under the tree. That disappointment led to creating a belief about yourself and life in general. We all tried really hard to be good to stay off the naughty list and yet we were still screwed! So we decided whatever we do, it isn’t good enough. That’s a heavy decision for a kid and the beginnings of our general distaste for fa la la la-ing. This is the time of year you mark the anniversary of the loss of your innocence.
Happiness and Celebration brings out the worse in people: Why is that? Why is it that we have more calls for domestic violence and assault around the holidays? Let’s enumerate them! 1) We tend to drink a little more during this time and drinking lowers our inhibitions. 2) Family celebrations are usually cauldrons of unresolved issues masked with the smiles of good tidings. 3) No one can push our buttons like a family member.
You are never going to get it back: Remember that feeling of anticipation around the holidays? Remember when you would lay in bed waiting for the appropriate time to wake your parents so you could see what Santa had left you? For me, I remember the glowing. Even in my foggy memories, I remember that our living room glowed as if on fire from the amazing gifts and the excitement in the air. The room was showered in golden hues and twinkling. Even though I love the holidays, I don’t see that anymore. That illusion is gone and it is that loss that we mourn year after year.
It’s so commercial…blah blah blah: Christmas has been commercial since Coca Cola put Santa under contract. People use this excuse and a million others to not participate fully in the holiday season. It’s a crock and you know it. Christmas is commercial only in that we buy gifts for one another. Sure, some people overdo it and ‘tis also the season of one-ups-man-ship, but the reality is, spending money is part of the fun. For a couple months a year, we live in abundance. We live as if money were not an issue. We want to give our kids what they want if for only for one day. What’s wrong with that?
Where’s the surprise?: It just doesn’t happen anymore, does it. There is a rush of adrenaline from the anticipation and the pleasant shock when we receive an unexpected gift. Kids mainline this feeling on Christmas. This is why they are like zombies for most of the day floating from one present to the other, ripping up paper and moving on to the next shiny toy. They are in a euphoria brought on by several shock experiences which releases so many endorphins and happy neurochemicals. As the adults, we settle for pleasant wonderment and awe. Not much of a jolt on that one I’m afraid.
CoupleDumb urges you to find that spark again and jump into the holidays with both feet. It can be an amazing time of year and also a celebration of a year gone by. This year, CoupleDumb will be partying like there is no tomorrow. We will hold on to the joy and spread love and cheer to everyone. Starting today let us be the first to wish you and your families a joyful Christmas and a Happy, Healthy and Abundant New Year.