Golden Globe Predictions by CoupleDumb
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Wow! 2010 was a year of incredible movies. The most incredible part? We actually saw some movies! As always, we are here to facilitate the award season for you. We are here to hold your hands through the nominations, shows and speeches. First up this year, the Golden Globes which air this Sunday on NBC at 7pmET. We will be living blogging the fashion at the pre-game show on E at 6, and the actual show. Last year Ricky Gervais did everything he thought to do to not get asked back. However, luckily for us, the brass doesn’t watch the show and he is back again to make fun of celebrity royalty. Hey, that’s our job!
Here are my predictions for the 2011 Golden Globes.
Best Motion Picture, Drama
Black Swan: This is a must see movie! However, if you have not taken your meds your should stay home and fashion a helmet out of aluminum foil and half eaten pixie stix. This movie will get under your skin like the feathers of a black swan. Black Swan for the win.
The Fighter: When they told me Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale were doing a film together, I thought, ‘Are they running anger management classes on the side?’ Not our type of movie so we passed.
Inception: Yes, we saw it. I am a victim of the DiCaprio Effect. I hate the guy. Not ‘put him in your crass hair hate’ but he tends to ruin a film for me. Loved JGL and Juno girl and the hottie but he leaves me cold with his man-boy looks and potato in the mouth talking. Sorry for all you is it a dream or not, peeps. .
The King’s Speech- I love Colin Firth but heard recently that he is a dick and hates the holidays. No love for the scrooge.
The Social Network- We wanted to see this but living in the boonies and having to take our wagon all the way to the big city to watch the pictures is so hard up hill both ways in the snow… didn’t see it. Probably the only real competition for Black Swan. My understanding is that there were no twists or lesbian scenes in Social Network. Black Swan for the win!
Best Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical
Alice in Wonderland- I thought it was a fun film but I am seriously concerned with Tim Burton and his regulars. Enough already. You’re quirky. I get it.
Burlesque – Cher? Christina? Who did you blow to get this nomination?
The Kids Are All Right – My favorite cousin, Monica, told me this movie was AWESOME! The Kids are All Right for the win.
Red – We saw this one. It was a cute movie. We enjoyed it. However, I also enjoyed Harold and Kumar Escape Guantanamo. That did not necessarily qualify it for an award. Cock Sandwich!
The Tourist – Wanted to see it. Probably will. Susan will hate me if I don’t push for at least one Johnny Depp movie. I guess I’ll have to live with the hate.
Best Director – Motion Picture
Darren Aronofsky-Black Swan- Got a hand it to the guy. He is one sick fuck.
David Fincher-The Social Network – Made a movie about where I poke people.
Tom Hooper-The King’s Speech – Ooh. It’s a King and he speaks.
Christopher Nolan-Inception – Was he high?
David O. Russell-The Fighter – Gritty. Sweaty.
Winner: The Sick Fuck
Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama
Jesse Eisenberg-The Social Network- I read something on this kid. He doesn’t own a TV and doesn’t have a Facebook account. He probably has no idea who Gilligan is either.
Colin Firth-The King’s Speech – He gets nominated all the time and never wins. He’s like the British Susan Lucci.
James Franco-127 Hours – Is it just me or has this bastard lost his fucking mind?
Ryan Gosling-Blue Valentine – He’s cute.
Mark Wahlberg-The Fighter – I have felt betrayed by him ever since Boogie Nights. Liar, you aren’t that big.
Winner: Jesse Eisenberg
Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama
Halle Berry-Frankie and Alice- I like you but since Monster Ball, I can’t look you in the eye.
Nicole Kidman-Rabbit Hole- Nicky, it’s not your year baby.
Jennifer Lawrence-Winter’s Bone – I have no idea what this is and who this chick is so skim this part and move on.
Natalie Portman-Black Swan – Bitch, you crazy!
Michelle Williams-Blue Valentine – Michelle likes to play tortured souls. I don’t like that.
Winner: Crazy Bitch!
Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Comedy
Johnny Depp-Alice in Wonderland- Good Mad Hatter but promise me you’ll shower more often.
Johnny Depp-The Tourist- You look like a homeless man but at the risk of a Susan beating, I have to insist that you get groomed quickly. Capt. Jack is not a good look.
Paul Giamatti-Barney’s Version – Great actor but I can’t understand why they keep putting him as a leading man.
Jake Gyllenhaal-Love and Other Drugs- This guy is so damn cute but I can’t let that sway me.
Kevin Spacey-Casino Jack- I love Spacey.
Winner: Playing the Odds-Depp!
Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Comedy
Anne Hathaway-Love and Other Drugs- Love Anne but this movie is not award worthy.
Julianne Moore-The Kids Are All Right- I think Moore and Bening will split the voters.
Annette Bening-The Kids Are All Right – I think Bening and Moore will split the voters.
Emma Stone-Easy A – I LOVED THIS MOVIE. This chick was FABULOUS!
Angelina Jolie-The Tourist- I think SALT was a great movie.
Winner: Going out on a limb and saying Stone.
Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture
Christian Bale-The Fighter- We should reward insanity.
Michael Douglas-Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps – May get the sympathy vote.
Andrew Garfield-The Social Network – Hey, isn’t that SpiderMan?
Jeremy Renner-The Town – Meh…
Geoffrey Rush-The King’s Speech- Rush is one of those actors who enthralls.
Winner: Rush for the stage.
Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture
Amy Adams-The Fighter- She is so nice and chaste. I just can’t see it.
Helena Bonham Carter-The King’s Speech – She is a freak; a brilliant freak.
Mila Kunis-Black Swan- She was great in this movie but then again sometimes I was actually seeing Portman and didn’t really notice it wasn’t her and technically all the fucked up shit was really in Portman’s mind so it really wasn’t her, technically.
Melissa Leo-The Fighter- No clue.
Jacki Weaver-Animal Kingdom- Ditto.
Winner: Kunis the doppelganger!
Best Screenplay – Motion Picture
127 Hours/The Kids Are All Right/The King’s Speech/The Social Network/Inception
Winner: I am using my psychic powers to predict The Kids.
Best Animated Feature Film
Despicable Me/How to Train Your Dragon/The Illusionist/Toy Story 3/Tangled
Winner: We have little kids. We have seen most of these. Paul is saying Despicable Me because it’s so fluffy he could die.
Best Television Series, Drama
Boardwalk Empire/Dexter/The Good Wife/Mad Men/The Walking Dead
Winner: Even though I love the Good Wife, I think the competition will trounce it. It will be either Mad Men or the Walking Dead. I’m gonna go with the zombies.
Best Televison Series, Comedy or Musical
30 Rock/The Big Bang Theory/The Big C/Glee/Modern Family/Nurse Jackie
Winner: Jam packed category!! I have to say Glee.
Best Actor in a Television Series, Drama
Steve Buscemi/Boardwalk Empire:A great actor who is just kind of scary looking. He’s like our modern day Igor.
Bryan Cranston/Breaking Bad: This guy has won this one and the Emmy. Enough.
Michael C. Hall/Dexter: He won last year. He had cancer last year. This year he is getting divorced. I don’t know where I’m going but it means something.
Jon Hamm/Mad Men: Still gorgeous and I would be willing to break 22 years of fidelity with this guy.
Hugh Laurie/House: Love this guy but Paul won’t let me watch it. He spanks me if I try. Yes, I try every week.
Winner: I will look into my crystal ball and say Igor for the win.
Best Actress in a Television Series, Drama
Julianna Margulies/The Good Wife: I love her and the show.
Elisabeth Moss/Mad Men: Never watched the show. Seems to highbrow for me.
Piper Perabo/Covert Affairs: I have no idea how this chick was nominated. Apparently she stood in line after Cher and Christina to get nominated.
Katey Sagal/Sons of Anarchy: She’s a badass chick.
Kyra Sedgwick/The Closer: I love her and the show.
Winner: I would be happy with either Juls or Kyra. I think this is Kyra’s year.
Best Actor in a Television Series, Comedy or Musical
I love Mathew Morrison but Jim Parsons on Big Bang is amazing. Bang! Bang!
Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television- This category is a fucked up mish-mosh of people. Seriously, they have mini-series and comedies and dramas.
Jane Lynch/Glee: Of course!
Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
Best Actress in a Television Series, Comedy or Musical: If I am not mistaken, this is the exact list from last year.
Toni Collette/United States of Tara: She won last year.
Edie Falco/Nurse Jackie: She won too many things from Sopranos.
Tina Fey/30 Rock: Rocks!
Laura Linney/The Big C: Kind of unfair to put cable shows with regular TV. The freedom to say fuck elevates the shows.
Lea Michelle/Glee: Love!
Winner: Although I would like Lea, I am thinking one of the cable bitches will take it. I’ll say Laura.
Best Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
Temple Grandin for the win!
Best Actor in a Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
I have no fucking clue. Al Pacino was good but these movies were all heavy.
Best Actress in a Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
Claire Danes/Temple Grandin: She was great! Claire for the win!
O.K., this is how it’s going down. At 6pm ET on Sunday the 16th we will begin live blogging the red carpet. At 7pm ET on NBC, the show is on. If I get at least 50% right, I get something great. If not, we will need to do some sort of kick-ass giveaway. Are we good?