Faith Rape

We have been virtually silent since the election regarding the politics of today. The lead up to the election had us writing non-stop for CoupleDumb and other sites regarding our own political beliefs and what we saw was happening to the very fabric of our society. This week, we break our silence for just a bit to share with you some of our realizations and especially our new vocabulary that we use to describe some of the things that have happened to us and, pretty sure, happened to many of you out there as well. We hope that Webster places it in next year’s dictionary or, at the very least, it is picked up by Urban Dictionary. We figure if literally can be made to mean metaphorically, we have a chance. Please, take these terms, use them in good health and try to maintain a sense of humor as some people try to tear down the world around us.

The Good Book read wrongly

Today’s term is ‘Faith Rape’: A person can cry Faith Rape when another person tries to ram their faith down their throat as an explanation for everything they do.

Example: The other day we were sitting in the car waiting for the boys to get out of school. A man (read random stranger) came up to our car and explained that he was a Vietnam Veteran. I thanked him for his service and returned to reading my emails on my phone. He then asked us if we had heard that they were teaching a class at the high school about Muslims. We told him that we hadn’t but added that it was probably a World Religions class that is taught as a history class. He said that it was a class to indoctrinate kids about being Muslim and the high school refused to add a lesson on Christianity. We told him that Christians hate having the history taught so that may have been removed from the class but it was probably not a Muslim ‘indoctrination’ course.

He then went on to say that he was against gay marriage because he was a pastor and God said it was a sin. We countered with ‘marriage equality is the law now in California’. He replied, “My God said it’s wrong and nothing will change my mind.” He then tried to explain how God had mandated that he hate everything that the Bible said to hate and no government can change that.

Finding no love for his hate speech, he left us and moved on to speak with other parents that were standing around. Paul turned to me, looking pale and frightened and said, “I feel like I have just been faith raped”.

How do you know if you have been faith raped?

  1. If you are having a conversation about the weather and someone just told you that God sends hurricanes and tsunamis to places that lose their way or are not Christian, you have been Faith Raped.
  2. If you are watching football and commenting on a play and someone tells you that the Devil took Tebow out of the game because he is a good Christian who praised Jesus for every pass, you have been Faith Raped.
  3. If you are discussing the fact that people on food stamps are primarily children, the elderly and military families and a person tells you that a person must stop being lazy and that God helps those who help themselves, all while screaming they are pro-life, you have been Faith Raped.
  4. If you have been denied a job because you cannot in good conscience fill out a Christian Values survey, you have been held down and Faith Raped.

Look, we have no issue with your faith or God. We respect everyone’s religion and faith. However, if you insist on pinning us down and explaining to us your cafeteria style Christianity that tells you to hate and be paranoid and discriminate all in the name of a petty god you have made up and I have to listen because this is your faith and by-golly I am giving you my testimony and I know you want it, you are Faith Raping us.

Caveat: There is a subcategory of Faith Rape called Atheist Raped. It feels the same but happens with a three part syllogism.

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