I remember your 24 birthday really well. Remember? Holiday Inn? Dancing? Games? Strawberries? Now, after sharing your birthday for the last 23 years, I think I can safely say that you are getting more delicious with age. The difference between Paul 23 and Paul 46 is confidence. Paul at 23 had no idea how incredibly powerful, intelligent, sexy and amazing he was. Paul at 46 seems to have a pretty good idea. You have grown into your awesomeness and I am just grateful to be allowed to worship you up close.
Paul says: Today is my birthday. I am 46 years of age. I am letting you know this so that the rest of my writing makes sense, so that you know that it is an old guy and not a child protégé with a good vocabulary. You need to know that I dress in costume for Halloween every year. I’ll be dressing up this year too. If I didn’t have children, I would still dress in costume. Often times, I do not need to buy anything because I already have all of the pieces in my closet. I own three wizard robes.
With that in mind, these are my intentions for my 46th year of life:
1. Cash. I will make a butt load of money this year as a writer. I’m putting this one right up front because I never give money a priority. Coming from a non-materialistic mindset, I would always do the ‘whatever God wants is good for me’ thing and I still agree with that but the big man and I have come to an agreement that this is a good idea. The Dalai Lama has 96 Rolls Royces. When asked about them, he said that he did not want or need them but having them is right. Makes sense. He is the big Lama, after all. The Pope gets a big hat. The President gets a big house because a Prime Minister rolling up to a 2/1 with the paint chipping just isn’t right. So this year I am going to make a lot of money because it is my time, it is right.
2. Being fit. I will be fit in my 46th year. When I was younger (much younger) I wanted rippling abs and big biceps. I wanted to look good for pure reasons of vanity. Now I want to live long and healthy with a good smattering of sexy mountain man for Lee.
3. Maintain priorities. And by a priority, I mean keeping that twinkle in my eye. When I put on my Halloween costume, I twinkle. When I decorate for Christmas (which I will begin on Monday) I twinkle and infect my kids with twinkle. When my wife walks through the door, I twinkle and make sure that she sees it every time. It is this twinkle that is my priority this year. A gift to me and everyone that I know.
4. Remembering how old I am. Yes, without the use of higher math, a calculator, or a cheating glance to my wife, I will remember my age. Next year I hope to remember my children’s names.
So these are my intentions for this year. If you want to join me on this journey, I would be honored. Thank you to everyone who has made my first 46 years so amazing and I look forward to all the new friends for the year to come. BTW, send presents.