The Emmy’s are on tomorrow and we feel obliged to give you our opinions on the whole thing. Why? Because we like sitting around, watching TV and blogging live while watching an award show. Unlike the Oscars, we have some real opinions on this.
Best Series, Drama
‘Big Love’ – No. The academy will not be sending the message that the nation is OK with polygamy. It’s yucky. No offense to our Mormon readers.
‘Breaking Bad’ – This show is ‘Weeds’ but with cancer and Meth.
‘Damages’ – Glenn Close is in the same pantheon as Meryl Streep and Katherine Hepburn for me. But another Lawyer show? I think not.
‘Dexter’ – This show originated on Showtime. We hate Showtime. No Emmy for you! The show is great but no Showtime. Sorry Dexter.
‘House’ – Paul hates this show and I like it. So we split the vote – no Emmy.
‘Lost’ – YES YES YES!!!! We watched all five seasons in a few weeks last June and we can say we are hooked. This is our TV crack!
‘Mad Men’ – OK, the guy is super cute and in a 50s suit, yummy. But it’s up against Lost so absolutely not.
Best Series, Comedy
’30 Rock’ – We love Tina Fey and want her to win everything. In a fight between her and Steve Carrell, we still lean to Tina. You betcha!
‘Entourage’– We’ve watched this show since it always comes on after a show we like; whether it’s True Blood or #1 Women’s Detective Agency. We are generally meh about it. It’s filler.
‘Family Guy’– Ballsy and wonderful! We adore this show.
‘Flight Of The Conchords’ – Foreigners. Their humor eludes many Americans who prefer watching men getting hit in the nuts with a bat.
‘How I Met Your Mother’ – I thought the premise was cute when it started a few years back but now its like ‘Dude, meet the fucking woman already!’
‘The Office’ – Don’t tell Paul but Steve Carrell is on my short list. I love him!
‘Weeds’ – Showtime curse! Sorry.
Michael C. Hall ‘Dexter’ – Showtime curse strikes again
Hugh Laurie ‘House’ – Paul won’t let me say yes.
Gabriel Byrne ‘In Treatment’ – He’s a shitty therapist and I can’t get past this.
Jon Hamm ‘Mad Men’ – This guy is one sexy guy. You win!
Simon Baker ‘The Mentalist’ – Oh shit, this guy is cute too. I have an idea. You and Hamm strip down to your skivvies and duke it out at my house.
Best Actor, Comedy
Alec Baldwin ’30 Rock’ – Remember when Alec was an overacting, lip pursing actor? Oh wait, he still is but it works for comedy but no Emmy.
Tony Shalhoub ‘Monk’ – O.C.D. is not funny. Anyone who laughs is evil. (must wash hands now)
Jim Parsons ‘The Big Bang Theory’– YES YES YES! His OCD is not evil just very funny. Plus he’s a theoretical physicist and Paul can identify with him.
Steve Carell ‘The Office’ – Sorry Steve.
Charlie Sheen ‘Two And A Half Men’ – He sucks rocks. Sorry.
Jemaine Clement ‘Flight Of The Conchords’ – Once again, a foreigner. Maybe if we built that big old fence and electrified it with eels and ogres, we could keep these people out.
Best Actress, Drama
Sally Field ‘Brothers & Sisters’ – You like me! You really like me! We do, I swear, but not for the Emmy.
Glenn Close ‘Damages’ – Love you but not Lawyer shows.
Mariska Hargitay ‘Law & Order: Special Victims Unit’ – You’ve won before. Will you get the pity you had a collapsed lung vote? I think not.
Holly Hunter ‘Saving Grace’ – God I love this show. I love her. She’s great. Paul, however, is luke warm on the show so have to pass on Holly.
Kyra Sedgwick ‘The Closer’ – We both love this show. We love Kyra. She wins it!
Elisabeth Moss ‘Mad Men’ – Sorry, never watched it. Does she get to touch the cute guy? If so, that’s her prize. Don’t be greedy.
Best Actress, Comedy
Tina Fey ’30 Rock’ – Tina Fey all the way!
Christina Applegate ‘Samantha Who?’ – Love her but never watched it.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus ‘The New Adventures Of Old Christine’ – I met Julia at a party in L.A. at a friend’s house. She was cool but I doubt she remembers me so nope. Sorry.
Sarah Silverman ‘The Sarah Silverman Program’ – Too controversial and has burned too many bridges. I know a little something about that. Bitches like us rarely get awards.
Mary-Louise Parker ‘Weeds’ – So No to drugs and Showtime.
Toni Collette ‘United States of Tara’ – Another Showtime show that may be good but consigned to the 4th ring of hell which is Showtime.
Best Supporting Actor, Drama Series
William Shatner ‘Boston Legal’ – Sorry Kirk.
Christian Clemenson ‘Boston Legal’ – If someone from this show wins, it will be Kirk.
Aaron Paul ‘Breaking Bad’ – Meth is bad.
Michael Emerson ‘Lost’ – YES YES YES!! This guy is evil on so many levels and yet, not. Ben is the best and scariest and freakiest! Love him!
John Slattery ‘Mad Men’ – Does he get to work with Mr. Sexy?
William Hurt ‘Damages’ – I use to love this guy when I was young and impressionable. But not anymore.
Best Supporting Actress, Drama Series
Dianne Wiest ‘In Treatment’ – We love this woman. She can do feminine hygiene commercials and we’ll watch her. On this show she is the only real therapist albeit these guys have some odd boundaries. Take it Dianne!
Best Supporting Actor, Comedy Series
Rainn Wilson ‘The Office’– This man is a total freak. Freaks are memorable. He wins it.
Best Supporting Actress, Comedy Series
Kristen Wiig ‘Saturday Night Live’ – Little hands, need I say more?
Amy Poehler ‘Saturday Night Live’ – She can split it with Kristen. Why is Lorne Michael getting rid of all the chicks on SNL and leaving dipshits like Keenan whatever-the–fuck? Does he work for food?
Then there are some other awards that quite frankly I don’t give two shits about. The best reality show is ‘So you think you can dance’ and Cat Deely is the best host and no nominations so no predictions. Guest stars on shows shouldn’t get Emmy’s in my opinion. They should be happy they were invited. It’s like handing someone a trophy for coming over.
So we’ll see you live on the Red Carpet tomorrow September 20th at 6:00pm so we can make fun of the people. As always, Paul and I will have Mari from J-Bug Jewelry doing off color commentary. Mari has a black belt in hitting just below the belt and is always a pleasure to have around us when we are making fun of people. We will be bedecked with her latest line of handmade jewelry so we will be feeling far superior to those people on the small screen. So we’ll see you there at 6:00pm on Sunday the 20th.