Embrace your addict and know who you are.
We pride ourselves on being open minded and socially quite liberal. We voted for gay rights and have marched for gay marriage. Our children see being gay as normal which is amazing since none of our gay friends even approximate that. The argument that being gay is a choice is as intelligent as guns don’t kill people. With all this being said, you will understand that our following smackdown has little to do with the gay thing and more to do with integrity, dysfunctional people and their relationships.
Case in point- Lindsay Lohan. We realize picking on her is like hitting a piñata without a blindfold but this is for educational purposes so its O.K.. We could have picked Britney. “Judge not lest ye be judged” never had tabloid journalism. So aside from her being a drama smorgasbord, what do we have to say about her? What learning experience can we take from her behaviors which have all the qualities of a movie theatre floor?
Well first of all the obvious stuff. She’s an addict. We saw her go through all the partying and arrests for alcohol and drugs. She has done her stints in rehab and has her current career as proof of all this crap. After her last day in rehab she was discharged with her boyfriend whom she met while working on her issues. Anyone that knows anything about rehab knows that that is a big no-no. You are encouraged to stay single for at least the first year of sobriety. Why you ask? Because you are raw and an addict. If you don’t get your high from the bottle or pipe, you can turn to a lover and get off or create all sorts of drama. Are you seeing where this is going now?
So, surprisingly that relationship failed and soon after we were hearing about the possibility that she was seeing a woman. There were denials, sort of and then half truths. Finally she sort of admitted to it kind of. But she’s not a lesbian! She won’t even cop to being a sort of bisexual. We don’t need to label but can anyone else see what she’s doing? What better way to get off? You have a lover. You have attention. And, since you aren’t really a lesbian or even bisexual, you hate your situation and creating as much emotional instability as humanly possible without needing a hazmat suit.
Here’s the deal Lindsay. We get your parents are really fucked up. Let’s face it, most parents want to ride their kid’s coat tails and carry on a pseudo celebrity lifestyle by selling information about their own child. We can’t wait! But the reality is that you aren’t a kid anymore and you need to start making some changes in your life or pretty soon its reality TV for you. Not that that’s such a bad thing but it certainly won’t give you the Oscar you want. Go now and tell Samantha that she is too good for you and move out on your own. Rent a small apartment. Find the nearest NA and CODA meeting and do 90 meetings in 90 days. The other 22 hours of the day we want you to do things to help your soul. These would include read a book, volunteer and or give away some of your leggings to homeless people. After three months, you will be a different person. This will not change your parents but you might want to cut them off if they are still sucking on your gravy train teat.