Cold Feet My Butt!


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                Cold feet. Pre-wedding jitters. It is so common we actually named it. We consider someone to have cold feet if they have doubts about their commitment and future. We consider an individual who is nervous and wants to run away to merely have pre-wedding jitters. In fact, we strongly question those who do not seem to be suffering a visceral need to skip town or go into hiding prior to the nuptials. Why is that society embraces the doubt so much? Why do we maintain this fatalistic and yet accepting outlook that commitment is terrifying and should only be entered into by the courageous or inebriated?

                Lee says: We are a society of chicken-shits. Too much?

                Paul says: We’ll see. Go on.

                Lee says: O.K., I’ll dial it down a bit. Our society assumes that commitment is something horrible. We are bizarre in our beliefs in relationships and wonder why our divorce rate is so high. Our society is so consumed with having things look a certain way and behave properly but for God sake don’t look in my nightstand or under my bed or you will find my dirty little secret. And definitely don’t tell my spouse about my proclivity to kink or my neighbors or children or pastor or ….

                Paul says: You’re ranting. Do you need a time-out?

                Lee says: No. Sorry. O.K., we have our politicians espousing this bullshit about family values. We need to return to being a country of family values. Where the family is the center of our community and we do things to honor, cherish and promote these almost Quaker-esque ideals of what a family should be. Then we say things to our kids like ‘play the field’, ‘sow your wild oats’ and ‘there are many fish in the sea’ if we see they fall in love to young. Why would we do that if we believe in family? What is the worst that can happen to little Jebediah? Get married too young and have kids? Isn’t that what we want as a nation?

                Perhaps I’m confused by the interrelatedness of commitment, family, sex and politics. Perhaps family values are just code for bullshit. Either way, what we have sown is a society that knows that they can always upgrade. Our society is set up on the principle that life as you know it can always be better. You can always drive a nicer car, have a bigger house and bang a hotter chick/dude. We have the mentality that to commit is saying ‘I am willing to never fuck anyone else’ instead of promoting the beauty of growing in love. We think new is always better, except for when we had Coke, and that same old is only good if we can call it a classic. If not, then it’s a rut, routine, BORING!

                Don’t look around. This is you too! And don’t say that certain religions don’t do that because all I can say is ‘Bah!’ Divorce rates, unlike respect, knows no color or creed. Commitment shows character and family values are a myth perpetrated by people trying to sell you the new improved crock that they are hocking. 

                Paul says: OK, it’s time for your nap, which, I might add, is a core family value. I would vote for a politician that ran on a ‘nap for everyone’ platform. If families did nap time, there would be harmony in the world, peace between neighbors, and a greater need to have sex at home with your spouse.

                So everybody go take a nap!

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