Celebrity Smackdown: Jon and Kate minus one.

A bitch and her pups

We are on week two of therapy week. Confusing? Last week for our Celebrity Smackdown we took on Scientology and their patron saint Tom Cruise. So, we are currently writing these from our bunker in an undisclosed location desperately avoiding the wingnuts who are protesting us for talking smack about the Children of Xenu. So our contact with the outside world is limited. We have heard that they are thinking of sending a man to the moon and that Bing Crosby was a hoot on Perry Como’s show the other day. Still, living in the side of this glacier, we still hear about the following people. Have they made a film? No. Is their music played on the radio? No. Are they on any TV show we can watch? Yes. How’d they get a show? They had a litter and now they are on every magazine cover and the top story of every news agency. All we have to say is: WTF?

Lee says: I readily admit that I have never watched an episode of Jon and Kate+8. I do not have a problem with reality TV. I like the TLC network and have watched several episodes of the ‘Little People, Big World’ show and found them fascinating and emotional. However, the concept of following a family with too many kids falls into my category of horror. As the mother of 3, the idea of consciously having 8 children is my worst nightmare. This scenario is on the order of Texas Chainsaw meets Freddy after he has spent a weekend partying with the little voodoo doll from Trilogy of Terror.

          With all the money these people have received from having almost enough babies to have a baseball team, has either of them or their offspring been taken to therapy? Seriously? How about just having their heads examined when they agreed to having 6 kids at once? Just think about it. We all grow up with sibling rivalry of some type and the ability to neglect the needs of one is exponential in their home. Jon, Kate, your laps aren’t big enough to love and nurture so many and your attention span is only long enough to smile for the camera or get another kooky hair style. Those kids are in danger and it’s not from Kate’s discipline. It is from the simple fact that they are zoo animals and no one is loving those kids the way they should.

          I apologize to everyone for even choosing this topic. I had told my husband that we would not discuss these people on our blog and contribute to their over-exposure. But at this point it’s like walking around without a cell phone. Everyone is talking and what they are saying makes no sense. She’s a bitch and he’s a cheater. Wait a sec. He cheats and she’s a bitch? How about keep it in your pants asshole father of 8 and both of you deal with your massive issues before your huge family implodes. The level of irresponsibility in this family is so immense it just demonstrates the failure of our society to really respect the life of a child. Dad is shopping and partying and Mom is hawking her books and brand while their relationship goes through World War 3. And the kids are left as the casualty’s of the paparrazi and blood thirsty media.

          And now with their earth shattering announcement of divorce (please read sarcasm here), I am still left wondering if these selfish parents give two shits about their meal tickets…er… children. Daddy is moving to New York to do God knows what. Dude, trust me. The only woman willing to date a guy who has spawned 8 kids is desperate for attention, has a mental disorder and/or has always had a puppy fascination. Meanwhile, the kids and Kate will remain on the set …er… in the home.

          I wonder how orchestrated this has all been. I wonder if we are being taken for a ride on the Jon and Kate bus and pulling into a big season finale on TLC where they tearfully get back together. What I don’t wonder about is how many of those kids will have serious issues when they grow up. They better save their money for bail, rehab and attorneys.

          Paul says: Don’t worry. One of them will grow up to be a dirty attorney.

 

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