Celebrity Smackdown : Glenn Beck

The caption says it all.

          Wednesday! Everyday of the week has a different topic regarding relationships and, in essence, each day is in competition with the others. So we know that in the middle of the night, Tuesday dukes it out with Monday and everybody gangs up on WTF of the Week Saturdays. To us, Wednesday’s Celebrity Smackdown is an oasis unto itself. We pick people of celebrity and critique them as bad examples or role models of relationships pertaining to the topic of the week. When we discuss competition, this is difficult to do since they are all competing with one another in some way. Magazine covers, awards, parts in films, records sales and blog topics are just some of the competitions going on right now. But these competitions aren’t hurting the United States as much as one individual who is competing to scare the living bejeesus out of everyone here and he doesn’t care how he does it.


          Who is the one who seems committed to bring this country down? GLENN BECK! Some of you may have answered Satan and, if I actually believed in a Satan, I would say that Glenn Beck is in competition with that little Devil. For those of you who have been blessed by not seeing the craptastic cable ‘news’ show, Glenn Beck is an idiot who takes some information and twists it around to sensationalize and demonize any person or organization who believes differently than him. His viewers, who apparently lack access to books or Google, lap up everything he says without question while polishing their guns and ironing their white sheets. Oh I’m sorry Mr. Beck, did I just say that some of your drones are racists? You bet ya!


          Let us begin the real smackdown by discussing your 912 Project. You created this organization to get back to basics, to save this country from the onslaught of communism and probably a way to siphon some non profit funds back to yourself. You created the 12 values and 9 principles that WE all must live by to make this country great. You force a belief, jingoism and blind faith on your people. I don’t know if maybe I’m reading into this because of my background but this sounds an awful lot like what Castro did to Cuba.


          And what of your values of being honest and responsible, Mr. Beck? When you find that your reports are based on crap, wouldn’t the responsible thing to do be to own up to it? Take it back. Say ‘My bad. I was misinformed, wrong and never bothered to check my sources.’ Apparently, those values don’t pertain to you. For example the 9/12 March on Washington this year where you insist that there were millions and showed a picture where some University used some fancy math and estimated a gazillion people there. The picture you were using was from the 1997 promise keepers’ march. Now a lot of your cohorts used the same picture but they have since reissued new numbers which do not top 70,000 participants. And to argue that these ‘peaceful’ participants weren’t potentially violent because they were hugging each other and singing the anthem? Beck, you know your audience. You are whipping them up for a coup and you know it. Your conscience is your ratings. The more radical and extreme you get, the better your numbers. You are speaking to the old Millennium freaks who are still pissed that we haven’t reverted to caveman days and are still eating canned food that they had stockpiled. These botulism ridden half wits need a leader and you have just enough brain cells to do it. Your followers are racists, militia men who would be happy to threaten our president for the good of your cause and you are fine with that.


          But please remember Mr. Beck, in science, which I know you don’t believe in because God answers everything and we shouldn’t ask why, equilibrium is the perfect state. We will venture back to the middle where we belong and not polarized because of assholes like you. I propose we create a space ark and tell all the zealots, Beckheads, Talibanis and extremists, that a cataclysmic thing is going to happen. Don’t worry, they won’t check their facts. We tell them God has judged us and that only the self righteous can leave and the rest of us can burn in the fiery pits of our own making. They leave, telling us I told you so, and we send them to the other ends of the universe where they will be enslaved by some alien race. Then the rest of us can live a peaceful, normal life without these yahoos pushing their agendas down our throats. What do you think?

2 comments

  • I think you come up with some good ideas! Aren’t these kooks waiting for some rapture stuff to happen? Are they trying to MAKE it happen?

    Yeah, let’s fling the asshats into space!!

  • Andy

    Glenn Beck, Bill O’, and Ann Coulter are the triumvirate of narcissism, but out of the 3, Glenn Beck is the most likely to take his followers to some remote region and create a place called Beckstown. We can all eventually predict how it’s going to end up after that. So sad that some people can be so stupid to believe some of the spiritual and moral cyanide this man provides.

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