Celebrity Smackdown: Carol Anne Riddell and John Partilla


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          Wednesdays have evolved in CoupleDumbland. Before, we would smack down celebrities for sharing their incredible unhealthy behavior with the masses then we kind of wussied out on the continual badgering of certain celebs. It was feeling like we were kicking Lindsay Lohan in the ribs every time she was arrested, busted, and photographed looking less than sober and quite frankly, we didn’t have enough room on our server to keep up the pummeling. Bitch was a mess! Anyways, the purpose of Wednesdays was always to show how media effect’s relationships. Not just celebrity. Recently, we have had a few things come up that has sparked our interest and, once again, we have decided to take up the piñata smacking stick and start whacking away!

          Lee says: Anyone catch the article in the New York Times Vows section a couple of weeks ago? You know, the one that had the Today show doing a segment and a gagillion bloggers’ panties in a wad? Since you were probably busy feeding the homeless or walking old ladies across the street, I will enlighten you. The article was about a recently married couple, Carol Anne Riddell and John Partilla. Carol Anne, not to be confused with the little girl in Poltergeist who was sucked into the TV by the devil like spook who then puked her out covered in Jello, was a reporter and anchor on WNBC in New York over a year ago and John Partilla works for Time Warner doing Media Sales. She has two kids and he has three. So Carol and Mike, I mean John, united their families in the bonds of holy matrimony. The 7 of them are now shrouded in the sanctity of this marriage that was blessed by GOD HIMSELF!

          Wait, did I mention that Carol Anne and John met at their kids pre-school while they were still married to other people? Did I mention that Carol Anne and John at no time mentioned that their marriages to their former spouses were damaged, in danger, stressed or even dull? Did I mention that they supposedly never had an affair but fell in love and then asked for divorces so that they could unite their splintered souls with their found soul mates? Did I also mention that their ex-spouses were never contacted and that the story was written like this Harlequin love story of the ages?

          She: mesmerized by his energy. He: infected by her inability to stand still. What they are describing is the collision of two adults with ADHD!

          My analysis of this is quite simple. I find it to be a very good example of the state of marriage in this country. The sanctity of marriage has been deposed by the American passion for trading up. Greener pastures were not created in Europe but here. We are a nation of ‘Forget what you have, what do you want next?’ We are always in the market for the upgrade, new and improved and better, faster and cuter. This marriage is doomed before it even gets to its paper anniversary.

          I never wish ill on anyone. I am a karmic warrior and have no need to bring wrath upon myself, however, I do wag my finger at the Gray Lady. New York Times, you were an institution and now you have gotten so old and jaded that you belong in an institution. This was a fluff piece to get the home-wreckers side of the story out there. Personally, I don’t give a shit about Carol Anne and John. I am more concerned with those kids and the two people they divorced. They have taught those kids that commitment is only important until something shiny or bouncy comes along.

          Sanctity of Marriage? Right. The sanctity of marriage only is valid if there isn’t something juicier in your view or more appealing on the horizon. The sanctity of marriage takes a back seat to falling in lust or finding your ‘soul mate’. As for Carol Anne and John, I wish them a happy life. I hope they are saving their money because therapy for those kids is gonna cost them a lot! My hope is that their ex-spouses find love and can get over this betrayal. Trust me when I say, you are better off.

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