Celebrity Smackdown : The Crazy Quaids

The topic this week is ‘Losing your mind’ and it has never been more appropriate for a mid week smackdown of the celebrity persuasion. The tabloids and gossip internet sites are replete with celebs and their eccentricities of the week. For some, being addicts suffices for their lack of imagination as they plunge into crazy land. For others, losing their marbles and slipping into a case of ‘exhaustion’ requiring court orders, medication and huggy jackets is really a story for the ages. These are the true artists who take their lunacy seriously. However, instead of dramatic biopics like Frances Farmer these tales will be told along with fart jokes and Cheeto stains.

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Celebrity Smackdown : Dishonest Celebs (that’s a redundant statement)

Wednesday means its Celebrity Smackdown on CoupleDumb. This week we are discussing the Don’ts of Relationships. To recap, Don’t Assume and Don’t Live for Someone Else. Seems easy enough right? However, today’s Don’t people believe is as elusive as the Loch Ness Monster, as difficult as a colicky baby, and as stressful as a Brazilian Wax. And for a celebrity, it seems to be an impossibility. Despite all evidence to the contrary, celebrities believe at times that they are above the simple rules that govern society. This rule in particular seemed important enough to engrave in a stone tablet and have Charlton Heston himself deliver to Edward G Robinson. So while celebrities are burning in the depths of hell because they lack the honesty it takes to be a normal human you can vaguely hear someone saying ‘Where’s your agent now, myah see.’

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Celebrity Smackdown : Sommers and Her Moist Personality

Today is Wednesday and you know what that means, someone is going to get smacked down! However, this week we’re talking about aging and celebrities are making this way too easy on us. From the tugging and pulling and filling and removing of different parts of their bodies to make them tight and young and desirable and employable, most of our glitterati are smackable. Should we go after the actors who, in an attempt to thumb their noses at time, have become unrecognizable? You know, Rourke and Love and Ryan and the list goes on and on. Or are they too easy? We figure we’ll set our sights on something less obvious. So while we dent our tuna cans in an attempt to create our homemade botox, you can read about another celebrity who has eschewed the scalpel but still has done her fair share of defying gravity.

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Celebrity Smackdown: Hollywood Moms

It’s back to Smacking Down Celebrities today! It’s Wednesday and usually on hump day, a person needs to vent out all the frustrations that we have accumulated over the past couple of days just to make it to another weekend. This week we are discussing pregnancy and if there is one thing celebrities have been doing like its last call in a fertility bar is getting pregnant and having babies. We are not ‘hating on’ people for having babies but what you do with them is a matter where they will get the stink eye every now and then. We don’t have any illusions that we are the perfect parents. However, some things should be painfully obvious to people even through the dark sunglasses and the flash of paparazzi cameras.

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Society Smackdown: Homosexuality

Let’s talk about sex baby. It is Wednesday and we have sex on the brain this week. It’s all sex, sex, sex around here. The more we talk about it, the more we want it, the more we do it, the more we want to do it again and keep talking about it. Such a vicious circle. We are constantly bombarded with sexual images and innuendoes to the point where our subconscious mind is riddled with images of flesh and the beast with two backs. We have become obsessed with what and if people are doing something. Are they or aren’t they? Or, is he or is she? Sex and sexuality are not the same thing and yet our culture has made it all about that. If he is a gay man then he is a butt pirate and if she is gay well then she has sensible shoes. The Celebrity Smackdown today is different and in fact so different we will temporarily change the name to Society Smackdown!

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Celebrity Smackdown : Glenn Beck

Wednesday! Everyday of the week has a different topic regarding relationships and, in essence, each day is in competition with the others. So we know that in the middle of the night, Tuesday dukes it out with Monday and everybody gangs up on WTF of the Week Saturdays. To us, Wednesday’s Celebrity Smackdown is an oasis unto itself. We pick people of celebrity and critique them as bad examples or role models of relationships pertaining to the topic of the week. When we discuss competition, this is difficult to do since they are all competing with one another in some way. Magazine covers, awards, parts in films, records sales and blog topics are just some of the competitions going on right now. But these competitions aren’t hurting the United States as much as one individual who is competing to scare the living bejeesus out of everyone here and he doesn’t care how he does it.

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Celebrity Smackdown: The Perez and Madonna Shadows

Since we are discussing shadows this week, we think it has become pretty obvious why we love to smackdown celebrities. Obviously these celebs possess qualities that trigger us and spark the ire of our shadows. All this is a nice way of saying that there are latent parts in us that either do the same thing or are activated by their behaviors. Enough of the blah blah, let’s get to smacking! So who shall we smack today? We figured we would discuss why it is that there are certain celebs that are just hated. However, we will go on record as stating we do not hate anyone. We judge them, yes. But we don’t hate.

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Celebrity Smackdown: Kanye, Of Course

Wednesday! Hump Day! It is just another day to talk smack about a celebrity who demonstrates dysfunctional behavior. We can call this day show-and-tell with a side of rant or we can call it what it really is: Celebrity Smackdown! This week we chose to marinate in the behavior of one particular celebrity. Last week, he was in the news, papers, every website and pretty sure the topic of cafeteria talk at our son’s Elementary School, in between sharing fruit roll ups. Of course we are talking about Kanye and since this week’s theme is language, he is the perfect example of a meta-message. What’s that you ask?

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Celebrity Smackdown: Wussy Musicians

Wednesday is a welcomed day in our home. Hump Day! Half way through the week! Excellent TV day! Anyways, our other favorite reason for loving Wednesday is Celebrity Smackdown. This week we have been discussing music and how it affects relationships so we scanned our brains for the biggest culprits of victimy, dysfunctional music out there. Sure we could bring up misogynistic rap music telling us to smack a bitch or overindulge in mind altering substances while going to da club, but that would be too easy. So who deserves the spank this week?

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Celebrity Smackdown : Hollywood Grandparents

We have been sequestered in a hovel for the past two weeks writing our CoupleDumb book on relationships. It promises to be a relationship book like you have never seen before. In the meantime, nothing brings a smile to our face like smacking down celebrities! We have missed dissecting, dismembering and disrespecting these people and we are happy to return to our posts as the Sentinels of Bad Relationship Examples. Since we are talking about Grandparents this week, we thought we would train our eyes on the Granny’s and Grandpa’s of Hollywood. That’s right, not only will we help them across the street, we’ll whack them with their own cane when they get there.

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