What’s the magic word? (Bite me?)

Lee says: I may be a bitch but I’m polite. I ask for things with a ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ regardless of who it is. I refer to people formally until given permission to use a more familiar name and I maintain these niceties at home as well. I don’t know whether this comes from my parent’s tutelage or my utter terror of the nuns at St. Catherine’s Laboure, in California. I strive to teach my children the same etiquette even in a climate of self entitlement.

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Lie to Me (and feel my wrath)

Have you seen the new Fox show ‘Lie to me’? We have watched a couple of episodes and we are HOOKED! They have O.K. stories but they pepper the hour with cool body language science and examples of modern day political leaders. But you don’t care what we watch on Wednesday nights. You want to know how this has anything to do with children and parenting. We think it’s obvious. So make eye contact and do not squint at us.

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you always manipulate the ones you love

Our littlest is just 2 years old. Recently, his language has exploded and he is communicating his needs. He says really adorable things like “bless you Mami” when I cough or “shoes on” when he wants to leave. I didn’t say he was bright, I said he was adorable. One of these incredi-cute things he is doing is requesting something that he has previously been denied with a final “Pllllllllleeeeezzzzzzzzeeee” and his hands pressed together in prayer. He has even perfected the doe eyes that are required for that kind of begging. It is hard to deny him but we do and then hug him for learning how to work his parents like a job.

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Hell is full of adolescent girls (but they work there)

Lee and I love our children, contrary to popular opinion. We spend a lot of time with them, both quality and the other type. But I am not so certain that we like kids in concept. They have a unique blend of smelly and annoying that may change over the years but doesn’t go away until it is sandblasted away with the cynical pressures of life. So that is why I was approaching Jeannie’s small gathering of female friends, five adolescent girls coming over to celebrate Jeannie’s birthday, with the same dread that OJ Simpson should have when he meets Saint Peter.

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