I’m not subborn. I just get my way.

It’s Tuesday and our kids are still here! Yes, we are surprised especially after the three days of whining from our three year old for what appears to be no specific reason. After several attempts to discuss the perils of whining and how we would appreciate some peace and quiet, we resorted to the old Catholic standby of an exorcism. Screaming ‘The spirit of Christ compels you!’ for 15 minutes works wonders. But the real question is, will Ricky value communication sans whining like we do.

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Evil Orange Children with Pretty Hair

Our kids are driving us nuts. No, scratch that, our children, separately and together, at times, test our patience and make us reconsider this whole idea of feeling fulfilled because we were blessed with children. At times, we admit, that these three little blessings are more like curses. But, most of the time, we can step back and appreciate their rambunctiousness, stubbornness, rowdiness, messiness, silliness and general loudness. Our kids are funny, annoying and, mostly, wonderful creatures. However, in the world of Reality TV, all of those children are Satan Spawns and should be stuffed in burlap sacks and drowned with kittens.

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Homer Simpson is a Hero

We are talking about Heroes on CoupleDumb. No, we are not talking about the TV show Heroes because we have chosen to break off that relationship as one might leave an abusive lover. This week we are looking at Heroes in the world and in our lives. Since it is Tuesday, we must be talking about children. Of course, heroes plus children brings us to dad. Gandhi must have had a dad that he idolized as did Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. Today we will place upon the pedestal a true American father, an icon of fatherly role modeling, a man who knows love like a prostitute knows a good slap in the head. Homer Simpson. Doh!

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The Award Dilemma

Today is CoupleDumb’s 1st Birthday! One year ago today, we decided the world was ready to stop playing games and start being happy. One year ago today, we decided that the world was ready to engage in honest dialogue and rebuke unhealthy behaviors. One year ago today, we committed to writing this blog until every human on earth was as happy as we are. So we celebrate this day and acknowledge the incredible things we have accomplished in just a mere 365 days (minus holidays and the occasional case of the fuck-its).

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Bite my yulelog

Tuesday and we are swiftly approaching the last day of school before Christmas break. Winter Vacation is a bittersweet time where we experience that wonderful parenting bi-polarism where we love having our kids home one minute and count the seconds when they can go back to school. However, we need to always remember that our kids sense our feelings and feed off our anxiety thus exacerbating the situation. What else do they notice about this wonderful season?

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Santa is in ICU because you didn’t behave.

OMG! It is December 8th. Now the Scrooges must stop humbugging about Christmas décor and bitching about the over commercialism of this holiday. It is time for all of you to pretend you love the season and are always in the spirit. Honestly, how many of you listen to Christmas music in the summer? We do but then again we are fanatics who should probably stick to our medication schedules. Just to show all of you how warm and tingly we are during this time of year, we are giving away a Dysaffirmation basket! You are probably wondering, ‘What the hell is in a Dysaffirmation basket?’ Glad you asked. We will include a Dysaffirmation Book, a Dysaffirmation coffee mug, a Dysaffirmation t-shirt and a magnet! We’ve gone completely insane! Check in tomorrow for details on how 3 lucky winners can win. Why are we doing this? We’re just showing our kids that it’s nice to give while lying to them about everything else.

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