Why Have Sex?

Why…..Is the hardest thing you ever have to answer. ‘Why’ is the root cause, the impetus, the answer to the riddle… ‘Why’ we do anything has been the question since the beginning of recorded time. In fact, there is a whole school of thought in psychology that says, ‘forget why, just focus on the what’ because we don’t have the time to wait for that answer. Well, CoupleDumb is not from that school. We are what you would call, ‘Old School’. We are all about the ‘why’. We are all about getting to the motivation, traumas and decisions. Only when we answer ‘why’ can we move on to ‘what’s next’.

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When To Have Sex

So you look across the table and decide that you really like this person that you have been dating now for 1, 3 or 15 weeks. Yes, you know that you are going to ‘give it up’ at some point with this person. So the big question becomes, when. When is it too early? We have a name for women who drop their panties too quickly. Unfortunately, we also have a name for women who drop them too slowly. And, yes, guys do not have all of the bad names but they do have just as much of the crazy. Too soon and you are a player, not serious about the relationship. Too slow and you’re into other guys or you’re a monk.

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Do You Know Your Shinola?

In the movie The Jerk with Steve Martin, there is a scene in the beginning where his father tries to teach him the ways of the world. He first points to the ground and says , “That’s shit” and then pulls out a little can from his pocket and says, “And this is Shinola”. Once again, “That’s shit” and “This is Shinola”. Once you can tell the difference between the two in your own life, you will be a very happy.

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Does Your Relationship Forward You?

When we talk about letting go, we are often asked how to decide what is a real relationship and what is dead weight. We would love to tell you that a real relationship looks a certain way or always wears a red bow while dead weight looks like an albatross, large and awkward. But, alas, that does not work that way. You need to create your own criteria of what constitutes a good relationship and what does not. We will, however, make some suggestions as to how you go about making that list:

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5 Languages Of Love – The Cliff Notes Will Do

Yesterday we started the conversation about Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages”. Not to beat a dead horse but we had issues with Dr. Chapman’s education and how he represents himself. Our lack of respect for Dr. Chapman’s work is not based on the fact that his education did not prepare him to be a relationship expert but more about the lack of understanding that relationships are not all perfect and sometimes there is no hope for some. The idea that everyone can fix their relationship is cruel to many people. Some relationships should have never been. Some relationships were based on fear, anger and settling on Mr. or Mrs. Right Now. Trying to fix those types of relationships is futile and painful.

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Woman And Masturbation

Women talk. We talk explicitly. If you don’t know this then you are probably male.

We tend to get vague when we discuss masturbation. Sure, we may share a review of a vibrator or a lube that you have enjoyed but we never talk about how we enjoy solo sex. What we know statistically is that women do not masturbate as much as men. Men are expected to masturbate while women are still considered asexual until coitus. Women know this to not be the facts but we will not set the record straight.

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Aphrodisiacs

Food is more than just sustenance. Today’s society has elevated the eating experience to rival the most erotic experience. So, where does the link between food and sex lie? Scientists are still undecided whether any food truly has aphrodisiac qualities. Some people swear by their experiences. Ultimately, there is a dearth of information on foods and their libidinous side effects. CoupleDumb, in honor of our support of a healthy love life, will share some we agree with.

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Rules For A Work-Free Marriage

I’ll be honest. I don’t really consider what I put into my marriage as work. Are we happy? YES! Do we feel that marriage is akin to working in a coal mine? NO! After 24 years, I can’t say we are on auto-pilot in this relationship, but it has become easy; a way of being if you will. Here are the things we have done in the last 24 years that has made our lives wayyyyyyyyyyy easier now:

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Lazy Marriage

So if marriage is work, by whatever definition, can you have a lazy marriage? Of course, you can! The definition of a marriage falling apart is a lazy marriage. Once again, we reiterate our sentiment from yesterday, work is not defined the same way here on CoupleDumb. We like to think of the ‘work’ we do in marriage as work defined as they do in karma- good deeds to create a positive effect. If you are unwilling to do that, then being lazy is the least of your worries.

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