Addicted to Love

We have been married for 20 years. To clarify though, these have been good years, not ‘I’m staying with you because of the kids or I’m afraid I will be alone’ years. We are happy. We are the couple that makes people sick. We hold hands and will engage in public displays of affection on any given grocery run. This is one of the reasons we started this blog in the first place. Somehow or another, we have avoided the common traps and pitfalls that most couples succumb to. Sure we were incredibly naïve when we married but we were smart enough to know we didn’t know everything.

Read more

The Pee-Pee slapping dance and other cool tricks.

If you do not know what the pee-pee slapping dance is, then let me enlighten you. The male of the relationship steps out either fully naked or, at a minimum, nude from the waist down. With a rapid oscillation of his pelvis, he sets his genitalia into motion, making a slap as his penis whips to the left, then right, then left again. He does this for several seconds, ending in a Ta-da, before padding away to wherever he was, fulfilled at a job well done. The impact is best if the audience, or shall we call her the victim, is in some innocuous space like the kitchen or laundry room.

Read more

Relationship Entropy

The celebrity paparazzi have really screwed up the common person’s belief about healthy breakup. They have convinced us that a conversation is a relationship, a date is commitment, and an appearance at an awards event is as good as a proposal. From there, it just spirals downhill. If they are not seen having that second cup of coffee together then obviously it is a horrendous breakup and everyone is devastated. Strike that. It is the woman that is crushed. The man is a philanderer because he had a latte instead of a cappuccino.

Read more

I’ll Choose Love for a 200 Alex

Last week’s post on Thursday regarding relationships like corporations wasn’t very romantic. But let’s face it, society has built up love and couplings to be this biochemical explosion that can only be understood with a periodic table and a Bunsen burner. People talk about “having chemistry” with someone else as if that is the litmus test for all attraction. If they aren’t using scientific terms for pairing up with someone, then it becomes some magical mumbo jumbo of how a person saw fireworks or heard the perfect sonata when “the one” kissed them.

Read more

Product Review: Would you like some KY Jelly with that?

            After 20 years of marriage, every now and then, a product comes along that makes us both raise an eyebrow; something that would enhance our sex life without causing damage to our psyches. Case in point:  KY Yours+Mine           We have always been adventurous in this area of our relationship.  We developed a list before we even were […]

Read more
1 26 27 28