Women who engage in being unfaithful to their partners are not as uncommon as you would think. According to the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 54% of women admit to being unfaithful in any relationship in their lifetime as compared to 57% of men. However, when married, the statistics take a drastic turn and only 14% of women admit to infidelity while married while 22% of men admit to straying at least once in their married lives. Women and men are not that different in that respect but why they cheat is a horse of a different color.
Women cheat primarily because they lack intimacy with their partners. We have talked about this before but sex is not intimacy. Intimacy is the affection and the loving that takes place every day. It is the feeling that you are loved and special and wanted. Sex is wonderful but empty sex is worse than no sex at all if what you are in need of is being validated by another.
We have heard too many stories from women who live in a sexless marriage. We have heard of too many couples who are roommates and the intimacy is completely gone. Sex is missed but it becomes utterly impossible to live your life if the intimacy is not present from the one person you supposedly committed to love and cherish forever.
When a woman is unfaithful, she has decided that she will risk everything to feel better about herself, to feel wanted. Women are 2 times more likely than men to forgive their husbands who stray; therefore women risk more when they cheat as compared to the men. This understanding makes a woman’s infidelity different than a man’s. Yes, he risks the possibility of his wife demanding a divorce but the chances of her forgiving him is more likely than him ever forgiving her.
Please do not mistake this understanding as condoning the behavior. The marital problems that prompt infidelity need to be addressed and feeling good for a few minutes does not warrant the risk and damage that cheating does to a commitment. Be brave. Address the issues in your marriage. Commit to your happiness and risk being honest before choosing to cheat. You, your family and your future are all dependent on your ability to advocate for your own needs.