Getting approved to become an adoptive parent can be a long process, when you take into account waiting lists, home studies and all of the other things that you need to do before you are even considered. It’s no wonder that once you finally do make it over all the hurdles, you are so excited and just can’t wait to have your new baby placed with you. Therefore, it may come as a bit of a shock when you realize that you still have many months to go before you are matched with your little bundle of joy. Here is some good advice on how to cope with all that waiting.
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First, it is very important to continue to follow your normal routine. This will help you to cope with the anxiety of waiting, whereas if you start to live your life differently, this will add stress and make the time seem much longer. Make sure that you get plenty of sleep and exercise, and eat healthily. Keep in mind that when your baby does arrive, you are going to be very busy, so you need to be in good shape.
Sometimes, no matter what you do, you may find that you can’t help being agitated. If this is the case, then there are a number of things that can help you to cope. First of all, consider keeping a journal or diary. Not only will this keep you occupied, it will allow you to express all of your emotions, rather than just bottling them up inside. Also, make sure that you talk to your partner and share your feelings openly. You will be able to give each other support, and helping someone else makes you focus less on your own problems. Finally, surround yourself with people who are happy to support you – friends and family who want you to be happy and are willing to listen.
Avoid going back to your adoption agency all the time or visiting their website to see if there has been any progress. This is going to increase your anxiety. It’s not a healthy thing to become obsessive – you may even start to wonder if there is something wrong with you because you are not being matched quickly. However, what you need to understand is that for a mother to consider adoption, she needs to think very hard about what type of family she wants for her child, and typically has some quite specific requirements. This doesn’t mean that you are not a good prospective parent – just that it often takes a long time to find a match.
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Finally, try not to do things like throw baby showers or get the nursery ready before you know that you have a match. These activities are much more enjoyable once you know you have a placement, when you can relax and share your good news openly with everyone. Furthermore, if you do these things too early and your placement takes a long time, they only serve as reminders of how long you have been waiting.