What’s Rape Anyway?

Writing about rape culture is aggravating. When anyone uses the word ‘rape’ to describe the consequences of certain beliefs and ways of being, there is always push back. Why? It’s icky. It exposes the dark under belly of our society. It reminds us that our assumption of safety is a veil of ignorance. It reminds us that evil is lurking around the corner. It reminds us that the bad people are walking around and look just like us. They do not have a dastardly mustache or wear a shirt proclaiming their nefarious nature. Rape culture is alive and well because society is too immature and scared to believe that it exists.

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The Institution Of Rape

The conversation for feminists has changed recently from equality to one of educating society on the meaning of ‘rape culture’. This discussion is vital, also, for the creation and maintenance of a healthy relationship. Whether you believe it or not, marital rape is very common. The root causes for this behavior are so embedded in our culture and religions that separating right from wrong is tangled in beliefs and concepts of morality. This week we will try to separate the wheat from the chaff and what is healthy versus the dysfunction of some beliefs.

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Help With Lee’s Research

21 years ago, I was working on my Ph.D. in Psychology. I needed to complete a handful of courses before I was able to begin my dissertation. Then, something amazing happened, we adopted our daughter. Because of her needs, I took a leave of absence from my program and never returned. I know now like I knew then that I had made the right choice. However, the desire to complete my goal of earning a Ph.D. was always lingering in the back of my mind.

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Women and Masturbation

Women talk. We talk explicitly. If you don’t know this then you are probably male. We tend to get vague when we discuss masturbation. Sure, we may share a review of a vibrator or a lube that you have enjoyed but we never talk about how we enjoy solo sex. What we know statistically is that women do not masturbate as much as men. Men are expected to masturbate while women are still considered asexual until coitus. Women know this to not be the facts but we will not set the record straight.

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It’s OK To Masturbate

Sex. CoupleDumb likes to bring up the subject a few times a year to remind everyone that sex is a normal function. What we usually don’t talk about is how the outside world messes up our sex-life. If it isn’t the government getting in our business, it’s the church or our parents or family members that do not approve or society saying it has to look a certain way. Sex has become a topic of discussion with the same passion rating as discussing taxes or the economy. Sure, it will get you hot but not the fun kind of hot.

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Mother’s Day And Loss

I have not been a fan of this day since I became a Mom. My first Mother’s Day was marred by crass family members who chose not to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day based on the fact that I was not their Mother. I was young. I was sensitive because we had adopted our daughter after years of infertility and, 21 years ago, adoption was not as common. I didn’t like Mother’s Day and now this year, I dread Sunday. This is my first Mother’s Day since my Mom passed away in February.

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You Are Not A Cow So Stop Worrying

The other day we introduced you to how damaging rumination can be. Rumination comes from ruminants. Ruminants are mammals that extract nutrients from plants through fermentation. This is done by chewing, regurgitating and chewing on plants all day long. Yes, rumination is chewing on cud (vomit). It is quite apropos actually. The obsessive nature of thinking the same thoughts and allowing irrational results become the basis for more worrying. Thus, thought begets crazy result which then begets more thoughts about results that you created in the first place. Ultimately, the term is more than appropriate.

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Mental Health And Cows

Rumination is the root of many mental health issues. When we allow our minds to dwell, fret, stress out and excessively worry about something that may never happen or something you can never control, you are creating your own anxiety. Today, we are going to give you some healthier behaviors to rid yourself of the ruminations or at the very least, limit those pesky thoughts.

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Anxiety, Depression, And Cows

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), over 18% of adults are diagnosed with anxiety. That means that at any given time in the U.S. alone, 40 million individuals are walking around in near panic, worried, tense, phobic and obsessed. These people are 6 times more likely to seek medical attention and even be hospitalized for medical and psychiatric reasons. Anxiety is the most common diagnosis, second only to major depression. And, since anxiety often leads to depression, one feeds the other. This week we will be discussing what you can do to prevent and treat anxiety. Today we tackle the root of all anxiety and depressions.

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