Apr 282015

May is Mental Health Month! It almost seems ridiculous that we regulate our mental health to one month out of the year when 1 out of 5 Americans suffer from a mental illness. As most of us have seen these past few years, more attention is being placed on issues such as suicide and mental illness. Unfortunately, the attention comes when it is too late and the scourges of depression and psychosis have taken their toll. It is time to discuss this in every corner of this country.

This May, a wonderful documentary is being released – “Walking Man- No One Does it Alone” . This film tells the story of Mark Norwine and his son, Eric, who decided to walk 200 miles across the state of Missouri to bring to light the issues of Mental Illness. Their journey was the result of the tragedy of having 3 teenagers commit suicide from the same high school. Mark and Eric’s journey was not only a means to educate people about mental illness but an opportunity to discuss their own struggles.

It is time we stop stigmatizing the mentally ill and accepting that our mental health is as important as our physical health. We need to begin to embrace that through education we can prevent these kinds of tragedies and others. When 1 in 5 Americans are struggling, it is no longer something that happens to someone else, it is happening in your own home. Please take some time and educate yourself and loved ones. Also, go out to see “Walking Man- No One Does it Alone”. You may be saving someone’s life.

Feb 232015

          When Drug Addiction Becomes a Threat to a Relationship

Question: When is drug addiction a threat to a relationship? Answer: Always!

This has to be the opening position when evaluating a situation where one party in a relationship is involved with drugs. Evaluating is the key. Emotion makes hash of good judgement when it comes to people about whom we deeply care. When emotion is substituted for rational evaluation of the situation, it breeds a number of unfortunate possibilities:

          Gambling Addiction Risks More than the College Fund

One of the worst kinds of addictions is gambling addiction. That is because many consider it, to be less serious than drug addiction. As a result, it often goes untreated. But an addiction does not have to involve drugs to have a deleterious effect on relationships and families. On the contrary, gambling addiction effects families beyond the obvious. According to netplaces.com on addiction and recovery:

The emotional trauma a family may experience can also be devastating. A family member other than the addict may be the one confronted and harassed by debt collectors and creditors. Dealing with divorce, separation, or being the only parent trying to manage the home front while the gambling addict is gone can feel overwhelming.

That feeling of being overwhelmed can, itself, lead to the declining physical and emotional health of the one left to pick up the pieces. Insufficient finances and mounting family responsibilities make for a bad combination that the responsible party may not be able to handle. In this situation, the addict is not the only one who needs counseling. If the relationship is to be saved, intervention needs to happen long before it comes to this.

          Drug and Alcohol Addiction Destroys Trust

No matter how well they present themselves, a drug addict is always acting on the narcissistic impulse to acquire more drugs for the next high. Believing anything else is self-delusion. An addict is not necessarily a bad person. But they are not the person you think you know. The bank account will get emptied. The TV and other consumables will go missing. Such a person develops dangerous friendships with people you don’t want near your family.

Drug addiction is less a problem and more a crisis. It is Red Alert, General Quarter, all hands on deck! For a relationship to survive drug addiction, it has to be treated as such from the beginning. The relationships that survive drug addiction pretty much all go through professional treatment.

          Flirting with the Joneses

Seeing how close to the edge you can get is usually a prelude to falling off the cliff. But that is exactly what many people do with dangerous vices. How many cigarettes can you smoke before you can’t quit? How many drinks can you take before you are an alcoholic? How much cocaine or heroin can you handle before you can no longer handle it? Some people can experiment with all of these things and function perfectly well, while others need complete abstinence. Which kind is your loved one? It can be hard to tell before it is too late.

          Warning Signs

Fortunately, drug addiction does not happen all of a sudden, or in a vacuum. There are signs both subtle and obvious. Some of those signs as listed by Axis Recovery are:

  • Increased Tolerance
  • Drug Withdrawal Symptoms
  • Drug Cravings
  • Social Isolation and Relationship Breakdown

Combine these signs with the following risk factors, and you stand a fighting chance of saving your relationship before the problem gets out of hand:

  • Addiction runs in your family, giving you a genetic predisposition.
  • You’re a man, doubling your risk.
  • You have another psychiatric condition.
  • You are subject to peer pressure.
  • Family and strong support systems are lacking.
  • You are troubled with depression and/or anxiety or feel alone.
  • The drug you’re abusing is known to be very addictive.

Drug addiction is always a threat to a relationship. But that does not mean that the relationship is over. It means that there is a threat that has to be taken seriously. There is no end-around professional help in these cases. It is a medical condition that must be treated as such. The real threat is doing nothing.





Feb 112015

CoupleDumb is a site that focuses on relationships and to that end, we read lots of articles written by really smart people about the state of love, marriage, dating and singles. One of the places that is producing some very interesting data are the folks at Match.com. For the last 5 years, Match.com has been working with Dr. Helen Fisher and Dr. Justin R. Garcia, in conjunction with ResearchNow, and surveys thousands of singles in the USA. The data is not only eye-opening but also extremely optimistic.


Some of the fascinating points can be found by going directly to their site or even just taking a gander at this super cool infographic.SIA Official Logo 2014 High Res 300x168 Match Singles In America

Some of the points that we loved from the findings are:

  • On-line Dating attracts working, well-educated individuals. The data is particularly interesting since CoupleDumb is a big supporter of the medium and will continue to encourage our readers to give on-line dating a try (http://singlesinamerica.com/#/section/2)
  • Social Media is a sticky subject and the data shows that selfies and using social media as a shrinks couch is a big no-no to prospective suitors.
  • We think the most exciting piece of data is the fact that 89% of singles believe in being married to the same person for the rest of your life.

Whether you are a cynic or think that love is child’s play, you are the minority. That to us is fantastic! We love love and hope and all the stuff that makes life worth living. Match.com’s survey results are a great reminder that we aren’t the only ones.

Please check out their site and educate yourself on the state of singles and love in our country.

This was a sponsored post but all opinions are ours, especially on this subject. We have a lot of opinions on this subject.

Jan 022015

We were an infertile couple until…well, we were not infertile anymore and a baby popped out. We did the whole infertility thing as well as the pregnancy thing. Being pregnant is a lot easier than getting pregnant once the stress starts.

Getting pregnant may not be always easy for all couples. There are some couples who are trying to conceive for quite a long time without success. One of the most important things to know in trying to conceive is by being able to determine when you ovulate. Pregnancytips.org say that knowing when you ovulate increases your chances of getting pregnant greatly. There are several ways to check ovulation; one of those is by checking your cervical mucus.

If you are into checking your cervical mucus daily, you know that cervical mucus change from time to time. The color of the cervical mucus may vary from light pink to light brown to yellowish to white. What we are looking for is an egg-white cervical mucus: it is stretchy and very clear. When you see that, that most probably means you’re ovulating. Cervical mucus is designed to be like that during ovulation to help the sperm get to the egg faster for more chances of conceiving.

Good luck.

Dec 122014

We are adoptive parents so this hits home for us.

There are currently 402,000 children in the foster care system in the United States of America and nearly 102,000 children (under 18 years of age) waiting for adoption. Approximately 23% of children and youth actively photolisted on the AdoptUSKids website and waiting for placement in adoptive homes were registered with one or more siblings. Sibling relationships are often the longest-lasting relationships for children in foster care.

You can help by going to www.AdoptUSKids.org