Bite my yulelog

Nothing makes Santa laugh more than traumatizing children. Yeah, good memories.

          Tuesday and we are swiftly approaching the last day of school before Christmas break. Winter Vacation is a bittersweet time where we experience that wonderful parenting bi-polarism where we love having our kids home one minute and count the seconds when they can go back to school. However, we need to always remember that our kids sense our feelings and feed off our anxiety thus exacerbating the situation. What else do they notice about this wonderful season?


          Lee says: As we may have mentioned, we believe in Santa and love this season. Not just a little bit either. We identify with Clark Griswold from ‘Christmas Vacation’. Our kids are infected with our insanity and chant the seasonal mantra of ‘More Lights!’ We are proud that we have instilled the zaniness of the tree search and the magical nature of twinkly lights on a house. All the while though, they watch us to see if we waver in our craziness.


          We inherit our parent’s genetics which include our body shape, temperament, hair color and eyes. Through our rearing, we inherit personality, esteem and our belief systems. The latter are the building blocks which shape our character and make us the human beings we are. Our beliefs and level of passion behind those same values are dictated by our parents. If our parents were zealots, then we will be zealots. By the same token, if your parents were self-righteous Sunday Christians and pricks the rest of the week, guess who you’ll be?


          This is not to say that we cannot change. Of course we believe in change. We wouldn’t write this blog if we didn’t believe that people can choose to be different. However, our parents have installed the thermostat for us and our level of involvement or enmeshment is almost predetermined.


          Sure, you can take this post to be about how we should devote our life to God 24/7 or you can assume we are writing about teaching your child to be a Christmas lover instead of a cynical, arrogant jerk around the holidays. Our true message is to teach your child that belief without faith is meaningless. Our true message is that we need to be careful what we are teaching our kids. Are we saying to believe in one thing and show no faith? Are we teaching our children that belief is a question of level of hypocrisy?


           We are celebrating our Christmas as we always do. We are balls to the wall insane with decoration and talk of believing in Santa. We watch every Christmas holiday special and sing and jingle all through the town. Our kids feel comfortable wearing Santa hats as a fashion accessory and Christmas socks are worn from Halloween on. Paul and I work hard to be in integrity with our Christmas Obsessions pairing both the fervent belief that there is hope in this world and faith that our fellow man will step up and be the light we know he can be. And while we wait for the fat jolly man to show up with our gifts, and wish J.C. a happy birthday and light our menorah and kinara, we pray for peace on earth and good will towards men. This is the part where some ass has to do his best Tiny Tim and say ‘God bless us, every one.’


          Paul says: I think that next year I am going to bust out hats and music and some décor somewhere around June. By then, people will be well into their humbuggedness and will benefit from a yuletide booster shot. It might also remind some of these dipshits out there that giving and loving and creating joy is not something that is limited to the last month of the year.


          Happy Birthday, J.C. My gift to you is to keep the love flowing.

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