Being faithful and other odd concepts
Friday is here and if you are eating lunch at your desk at noon Eastern Standard Time or grabbing a cup of coffee at 9am PST, tune in to see us talk about infidelity on ‘Relationship Rehab’ MingleMediaTV.com. We have live chatting and would love your perspective on the topic. But while you are here, go ahead and read our final post on cheating and cheaters.
Lee says: I guess you can gather from reading a week’s worth of posts regarding infidelity that I have little respect for those who cheat and even less for those who partake in the sordid affair. I guess my reaction is really all about loyalty. My friends and family know that I am a faithful bitch and you would be hard-pressed to find a moment in my existence when I have not been loyal. I guess you can say I was bred that way.
I have mentioned that my father was unfaithful to my mother and my mom tended to over-share and include the kiddies (as did my Dad). The worst part of all these flimsy boundaries was not the feeling of discomfort and wishing that my real parents would magically appear and pick me up and realizing ‘Damn, I look like my Dad and I have my Mom’s personality’. The worst part was what I perceived as the violating of the family unit. I felt that both parents had betrayed the family unit. That, more than anything, messed me up.
When I began to date Paul, I was very clear that disregarding things like loyalty and commitment was a sure way to earn a one way ticket to singledom. I was not ever going to risk myself or my family to someone who regarded commitments as disposable as well as the people to whom they were made. I needed a partner who felt the way I did or I would be living alone and collecting knick knacks of chubby kids posed around wells and dykes.
I was blessed. I am a very lucky woman that I never have to worry myself with the possible infidelities of my spouse because it will never happen. No, I am not being naïve. I know who he is and I know what he is capable of. And, since we write together and do the TV show and radio together besides having our three children, the only time he is ever away from me is to go to the bathroom. If he can make some time with someone during that time, I would be impressed.
But it’s that very attitude of believing that someone who believes in commitment is actually being stupid that allows infidelity to proliferate. If we believe that it’s a given then it is. If we see it as an evil that we can do nothing about, then it is. If we conduct our lives as if commitments to spouses or significant others are insignificant and that sex is the true gold standard, then it is. I choose to live in a world where I believe that people can live by their words and can be responsible for themselves. I choose to live in a world that sees infidelity as an abomination towards man itself (no need to bring God into this since He already laid out a whole commandment on this subject).
I guess I’m an old fashioned girl. I like being married and being faithful to my husband is very easy. Yes, in our 21 years I have been propositioned and have batted away more than one advance. Aside from being flustered, I was nauseated that anyone would even try to test my loyalty to my man and marriage. I am a loyal bitch and I love that about me. I also like to be scratched behind the ears and play Frisbee.
Paul says: First, the only way that you will find me in someone else’s bed is if I am taking a nap. Yes, I’m a nap whore. Second, I love my loyal bitch. I can’t imagine straying. Honestly, I do not see the need. If it is just about sex, Lee will do everything that I need (wink, wink). If I want a redhead, she’ll bust out a wig. Ain’t no shame in either of our games.