Real Relationship Advice
When a couple decides to have a baby there is so much to do. Yes, making the baby is the obvious first step but even before that, you should be mentally preparing for a child. Here is a mental checklist a couple should go through before even contemplating making a baby:
1. Is your relationship strong enough to handle a constant interruption?
You know those days of lounging in bed all day or going out to eat after 9pm because you decided to take a nap and then fool around but who care because you’re adults and no one can tell you what to do? Yeah, those days are gone. Now, this does not mean you won’t get to go out. It just means you need to rethink what fun is and reschedule couple time.
2. How will you parent?
How will you discipline your kids? A united front is the most important aspect of parenting, next to consistency. Also, how will you deal with your respective families when they decide to ‘give you advice’? What are the rules?
3. What if your child needs extra assistance?
None of us expect to have a special needs child. When it happens, the stressors have destroyed the best of marriages. Being prepared is the best weapon you have against the unexpected.
Who will pick up the kid? Who will be responsible for taking care of the children while the other works or will you both work? If so, who will care for the baby? Who is ultimately the one who will handle these issues? You can say that you will share the duty but that usually is not realistic. One of you steps up or somehow gets the job by default. If you are honest about it from the beginning then one of you can make the choice thus resentment is thwarted. Paul and I have always shared all duties but when it comes to babysitting and stuff like that, I am the boss.
5. Why are you having a baby?
There are plenty of channels on cable to keep you entertained. There are great games on the Wii or computer to occupy your time. Why have a baby? So many couples neglect to discuss this crucial topic.
If you can get passed these questions, come back tomorrow for more baby stuff.