Acknowledge Nothing!

Everyone knows that you hang an oompa loompa or else they wrinkle.

          We want you to stop right now and acknowledge all of the wonderful things that you have in your life. Go ahead. We’ll wait. Good. You just brought about an abundance of happiness. This is acknowledgement Thursday at CoupleDumb and that is what we are all about. Lots and lots of happy. Next week we’ll teach you how to make your own antidepressants out of common household items.


          Paul says: This week we are discussing acknowledgement and, as I began writing, I realized that I did not truly know what the word meant. Yes I would use it like the guy in the Princess Bride, the one that would spout out ‘inconceivable’ even though the events proved that it was really quite conceivable. So, being the kind of guy that read the dictionary as a youth, I looked up the word and was surprised to find that, within our transcendental meditation /tree hugger/ I don’t need drugs ‘cuz I’m like this naturally/ we create our own reality / hippie philosophy, the definition of the word in itself is really profound.


          From Dictionary.com, the most common definition of acknowledge is to admit to be real or true; recognize the existence, truth, or fact of.


          So if we are talking about acknowledging something in our relationship then we are actually saying that we are admitting that it is real or recognizing the fact of its existence. Now that we all know the definition, the big question becomes: What are you acknowledging in your relationships? Do you heap acknowledgement for the wonderful things like anniversaries, birthday, really good sex, or the fact that your whites are whiter than white? Do you only focus on the little bads? Are the only things that get ‘celebrated’ poorly washed dishes, stinky t’ain’ts and the extra 1000 miles between oil changes?


          Don’t talk bad about your partner. We have said it before but now you know why. We see so many couples that talk smack about their significant other. Not little shit talk either but the kind of stuff that would make the late Captain Lou Albano, in all of his resplendent rubberband glory, proud.


          Lee and I are pretty balanced in our acknowledgements. We do not dwell on the bad and we have been known to completely ignore the good. Or in other words, until recently, we didn’t acknowledge shit. Like most marriages, we learned to see the things that weren’t working first and, with a little healthy attitude, brought them into existence so that we could deal with them. Now we are trying to bring about the good things in life. How can you get rid of the bad or make more of the good if you never acknowledge that those things existed in the first place.


          One little addition to all of this philosophy : you can’t acknowledge something for someone else. Acknowledgement is a personal truth that you may share but you can never bestow. If you are acknowledging (through celebration) the anniversary of your love and the object of this love is not acknowledging it, then you are a stalker. You can only acknowledge that your boyfriend is a lazy fat fuck in that you see that you are responsible for choosing him. He might be acknowledging himself as a pleasantly plump thinker.


          Lee says: I acknowledge that my wonderful husband is a sexy man who knows how to curl my toes. I acknowledge that my children are brilliant and an example of our superior genetics. I acknowledge I have everything I need in my life to have the best life ever. Don’t believe me? Just watch.

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