Oct 172012
 

Real Relationship Advice

nice2 300x206 A Considerate Marriage Is Better Than The Best Wedding

 

If you go to You Tube right now, you can find almost 200,000 videos under the tag, ‘proposal’. With love romanticized we have supersized overt expressions of love. If you are going to propose, make sure whatever you do is videotaped and uploaded so that it goes viral. The proposal needs to be memorable, spectacular and over the top for it to be worthwhile. If you don’t have a Jumbo-tron projecting it or a flash mob dancing to ‘Marry You’ while your best friend releases doves and a famous artist unveils an abstract piece dedicated to your love, you have just ruined it. The moment where two people decide to marry should not be a production. The wedding should not be a production to rival The 10 Commandments. All of this energy should be reserved for creating a marriage that can stand the test of time.

CoupleDumb hardly wants to put the Wedding Industry out of business. As long as there are girls dreaming of a white wedding, there will be an industry. We simply want to extricate the event from the marriage. We are simply trying to point out that love is a driving force behind this phenomenon. It loses sight of the end goal, big picture and the reality that the wedding is one day out of many.

Yes, we remember our wedding. We remember the mistakes. We remember the state of shock we were in while we stood in front of the priest and he made jokes that were not understood by anyone in attendance. We remember the cost to feed 168 people which we did not even have a moment to taste.  We remember the dancing, the passive aggressive DJ, the moments we tried to connect to share a private moment, the escape before the reception was even over. What we know now, nearly two and a half decades later is that we have had better days. We have made better memories ever since that fateful day. Our wedding was great but being married to each other was so much better.

Much of that feeling comes from consideration. Being a considerate person needs to be placed on the same pedestal as super powers. A considerate person lives life in pursuit of happiness with the proviso that seeking happiness is both a selfish and selfless act. You can find happiness in so many places and you are doubly blessed if you find it when you bring happiness to others as well.

Lee and Paul