Real Relationship Advice
There are moments in life when everything becomes crystal clear; a moment that can only be described as bliss. Recently, this moment occurred to me while riding the Mexican Hat Dance at Knott’s Berry Farm. The ride is reminiscent of the Tea Cups of Disneyland. In other words, I was spinning uncontrollably. Sure, I could probably credit this moment of revelation to being dizzy and a little nauseous but I like to think it was an epiphany.
As I spun around with my three children, the four of us were laughing uncontrollably; partly from terror and partly because we were in the moment. I found myself looking at them and feeling happy, content and complete. The moment elicited a philosophical response that can only be considered to be inspiration. I began to think that that brief episode of bliss was the meaning of life. This would mean that a fulfilled life was relegated to a few minutes in an average lifespan. And, to some, they never even approach a meaningful moment whether through intrinsic or extrinsic circumstances.
Then I realized that life is what happens between those moments or what we do to lead up to those moments. Life is a series of choices that will either lead us to a point of happiness where we are secure in our integrity, values and legacy or to a point of despair, loneliness and shame. The true meaning of life is defined by the times between the epiphanies and fleeting moments of bliss.
Can we keep that glow of joy for more than a second before we lament that we are no longer in that moment? Most people go through life searching that high. We have experienced joyfulness and keep seeking that high. Not unlike a crack-head, we look for it in possessions, sex, relationships or even success. That natural high is addictive but we use the same unhealthy paths to try to recreate the feeling. These moments are not forced. These moments are a combination of the right moment with the right attitude with the perfect perspective.
Bliss is present. Joy is in the moment. Happiness is now.
Tomorrow, my youngest goes to Kindergarten. Tomorrow, my little one will truly embark on his educational journey. I could sit here and project myself into the future and see him with a Ph.D., lovely wife and 2 kids. Instead I will savor the moments of him going to school. I will savor the moment where he begins to individuate from his parents and create his own persona outside of us. I will live in the now and wait patiently for that next perfect moment that will come because I know that I have made choices based on maintaining my integrity and happiness.
And, if that doesn’t work, I will spin myself until I laugh uncontrollably.