Real Relationship Advice
When we talk about a life worth living, we are speaking directly to what you value. We are not referring to some secret document that a guru keeps on a mountain. We are not discussing the question that has tortured philosophers for eons. We are talking about what you think makes life good. We are talking about what makes it easier to haul your ass out of bed every day and what makes you smile before you close your eyes at night. Simply put, what makes this all worth it?
Sure, some people will cop out and answer things like ‘my children’ and ‘my job’ but that is not the answer. The answer can only reside within you. If we actually let our ‘reason for living’ be outside of us then we would be the victim of whatever that is. For example: What if little Bartholomew or Isolde decided to break the law or, even better, call you out as a horrible parent and not speak to you? This would shatter your very existence. Allowing an extrinsic force hold the keys to your well-being is like allowing a homicidal maniac to be your nurse. Now, this is not because the world will always disappoint you (which is a great Dysaffirmation and I will be writing that down), but it is directly related to what you value.
CoupleDumb proposes that life is worth living when we have hope. Hope is not some fanatical belief in a dooms day with a payout of a cloud and harp, we are talking about a trust in the future. When we are genuinely hopeful we believe that everything will work out regardless to evidence to the contrary. People who are hopeful report more satisfaction with life and are more likely to say they are happy.
So, what’s this hope stuff and why does it make you happy? Isn’t it some pabulum like the opiate of the masses? No! Hope is one of the most powerful traits a human being can possess. Hope motivates. Hope makes it possible to dream. Hope is the batter to all of our goals. Without hope we have no motivation and all creativity becomes limited to luck. When we have hope there is an inherent trust in the universe. Now, we are not saying that hope lies in a belief in a higher power. We are saying that trust in tomorrow does require a certain leap of faith.
Yes, it is true that people who describe themselves as cynical tend to not believe in a higher power but then again, many who do believe in a higher power also believe that people are inherently evil. Where’s the hope in that?
What we know is that hope is the cheese in our sandwich. We know that hope makes it possible for us to do what we do. When you have a vision that people will live a happier existence then you hope everything you do will create that future. Without hope, life would be pretty miserable and our future would be bleak.
Do you view the world with hope?