Real Relationship Advice
For the last two days we have let you know that we at CoupleDumb are not pro-marriage. We are pro-happy. If there are other things out there that make you happier than being in a relationship then get out. Which brings us to today’s reason why people get divorced: Finance and career. Some people just cannot have both a career and a relationship. It is one or the other. Others do not even realize that they are pitting the importance of money in their life against the priorities of their relationship.
People break up because of money and I just do not get it. Do you honestly think that your partner wants to live in a box? Are your priorities so far off that one of you is trying to buy food and the other is buying a boat? Generally this isn’t the case. What we see is that people need someone to blame. Instead of taking responsibility for the situation, they like to put it on the stupidity, laziness, or overspending of the other.
Now I know that sometimes this is the case. We have heard numerous stories of the guy that does the midlife crisis thing and buys a motorcycle/boat/girlfriend/all-of-the-above. To blame money for this situation is like blaming a hemorrhoid for colon cancer. One hurts and is annoying but the other kills. When it comes to money, both of you want the same thing. Tell me if this sounds good: Lot of money with little work. Sitting on a boat while Jeeves hands you hundreds to fan your balls with. How does that sound?
What about the career? Hubby should work no more than 9 to 5, be able to see all of little Petunia’s piccolo recitals and coach Spud’s Jai-Alai league. And he needs to bring in the high six figures. And wifey better bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and wash the cloths, feed the kids, clean the house, make the doctors’ appointments, give love and support to everyone and their brother, and do anything else that isn’t specifically designated.
Suddenly people find themselves choosing between a career and a relationship. Who the hell can do both? I remember right after our youngest was born, I had a corporate type job that I hated. When at work, I always felt like I needed to be home and when I was home, I was thinking about work. Of course I was shitty at both.
We have said it a million different ways. Time to say it again. Get on the same page people. Separate checkbooks is a fallacy because you are paying for one relationship. Different career goals is a fast track to divorce. You may have different careers but you only have one job; to be happy. Not happy only at work. Not happy only at home. Not happy only when you have money. Happy all of the time.
Yes, CoupleDumb is pro-happy relationship. So get your shit together and be happy. Don’t make me come over there and put you in time out. I will. I mean it.