Real Relationship Advice
We see it in the movies. The candles. The over the top proposal. The public displays of affection. We are obsessed with romance and yet we have very different ideas of what romance is. For some, romance has to be this overture of love with flowers, a flash mob dancing to that Dirty Dancing song and a horse drawn carriage. For many younger couples, romance is a point of contention. For older couples, the concept of romance has evolved. To give you an idea of how varied our idea of romance is, take a look at these examples from some married women:
Kelly Kinkaid from kellyology.net: “Taking over one of my responsibilities around the house or with the kids without asking. And actually listening to what I’m saying…”
Emily Vanek from Coloradomoms.com: “romantic to me is getting a sitter all by himself and actually choosing the movie and restaurant. Or at the very least, picking a channel and sticking to it when we watch TV. ;)”
Melissa Steinberg Brodsky from Youwontgoblind.com: “romantic to me is when my husband, who is so NOT romantic, calls to tell me that we are going away, just the two of us, overnight. And…he made arrangements for the kids. He did that last year for my birthday and he did it again, today.”
Kelly Gehrmann Whalen from thecentsiblelife.com: “It’s really about showing how much he cares whether that’s by helping me with my responsibilities, doing housework, or going out of his way to something unexpected and kind. I think we place too much value on ‘stuff’ and big romantic gestures. I’ll take him getting up with the kids and making me coffee any day of the week over a dozen roses.”
Jo-Lynne Shane from Musingsofahousewife .com: “I always say there I nothing sexier than a guy doing the dishes. But truly, I need time together to feel romantic. And little thoughtful things help too-like bringing me a coffee in the morning or planning a date so I don’t have to.”
Jessica Rubin Cohen from foundthemarbles.com: “To me, romance is not contrived or fake or too planned out. Romantic is what comes authentically, whether it’s a few stolen moments or a glance across the room.”
Annie Shultz from mamadweeb.com : “It is romantic if my husband does something out of the ordinary that took effort. So if he leaves me a note, finds a sitter for me, or even if he does a load of dishes without being asked (he NEVER does that). That is pure romance at its best. “
Kadi Cobb Prescott from kadiprescott.com: “I am not a romance girl. It kind of freaks me out. It may be that my parents were never lovey dovey in front of me and I never saw what romance was. I don’t know.”
So, if we were to define romance for the modern married woman, we would be able to distill it to the following ideals:
*House work *Surprising *Taking over the planning
We suppose that after reading the above you know that CoupleDumb will throw you a curve ball and tell them that they are all wrong. You know us so well but that isn’t exactly what we will do.
Romance is simply communicating an emotional love. So, if you feel loved because your husband does a load of laundry, the spin cycle is your love language.
Come back tomorrow where we tackle real romance and how it eludes the recently married.
Question: What is the most romantic thing you have ever experienced?