Real Relationship Advice
I would love to give the man’s point of view on this whole women’s rights thing but I do not think that I am the right man for this. Honestly, I do not understand any of it. I am too much of a pragmatist. I am good with total equality. Let women be on the front line. That is one less bullet heading my direction. Let women make the same amount of money as me. I am married. That is one less dollar that I need to make. So, knowing that I may not be the best male to represent all of manhood, I will give one possible point of view: Women are bitches and men are assholes.
The reason that Lee and I write CoupleDumb is because she is not a bitch to me and I am not an asshole to her. If everyone in the world could say the same then we would be out of a job. But the fact is that women do things like withhold sex instead of talking about an issue. Men pout like little boys and look for ways to get even. Men use work to escape having to have any emotional vulnerability or connection. Women want it all but few are willing to take responsibility for whatever it is that they want. Men want it all but have no clue what they are asking for. It is a screwed up world and this is just one of many symptoms of the dysfunction that we put up with on a day to day basis.
Yesterday, Lee wrote about the child birth experience. I do not think that I went through some of the control issues since I never felt out of control. Even when we miscarried (and notice that I said that WE miscarried) and I did feel out of control, I placed my anger, misguided or not, on God, not on my partner. That being said, I do not think that I would have been that way if we did not have the relationship that we do.
Women throughout time have been using sex as a tool. Sex is power. So, again being very practical in my assessment, if we are not together then we are apart and the one with the most power wins. I can say that child bearing and child rearing have been a beautiful experience including whatever part of the child bearing that I have been able to share. Part of that is because I like my life. My children are not burdens. My wife does not wave them at me like dirty underwear that I left on the floor. I have not lost control and none has ever been taken from me.
Can we say that it is a bunch of old white guys that are trying to control women? Definitely. Can we blame the religious right for much of this? Hell, yes! Can we look at a long history of religious dogma that is designed to control women? Obviously. (Religious dogma is designed to control everyone, women just get a little extra poke for the fun of it.) Knowing all that, and now I get all practical one more time, let’s stop it. In the last 30 years there have been great strides in gender equality. It is not perfect but we were moving in the right direction. If this is about control then all of the people that think this is wrong need to take control. Women and men that see this new step backwards need to take back control. Let’s vote out the old white guys. Let’s get some Christ back into Christianity. Let’s love and respect the people that we share our lives with.
That is my male CoupleDumb hippy point of view. Anyone with me? (Time for a group hug.)