Real Relationship Advice
We have been vocal about it. We have mentioned it several times. However, due to the scary political climate, we feel the need to be very clear and use our voice to provide information, an education and support for our gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered brothers and sisters. This week we will discuss the issues of homosexuality and the ridiculous extent that people will go to deny and avoid the existence of this population. Today will be a homosexual primer.
There is a lot of information about homosexuality. There are people out there that have decided that said information is really propaganda for the homosexual agenda but that would mean that there is a band of wildly dress effeminate men and butch women roaming the country side stealing young boys and girls to convert them to their wicked ways. Unfortunately, there are many people who actually believe that and it is that same paranoia that fuels so much misinformation.
According to Kinsey, 10% of the male population is gay. This number has been generally accepted. However, according to some Christian based groups that number is actually much lower, around 5% for both male and female. The American public actually believes that every 5th person is gay according to Gallup polls. So, who’s right? The actual estimate is a little less than 10% of the American population is homosexual (without dividing into different categories). But, why the confusion?
People tend to believe that sexuality is a fixed point, you are straight or you are homosexual. However, sexuality is fluid and actually on a bell curve. When we are young, our sexuality is not polluted with cultural, religious or family values that define attitudes to ways of living. We go by feeling. Our feeling says ‘I like that person’. He/She is my friend. We allow ourselves to deepen feelings because our filters and fears are not developed yet. ‘I love my friend’ becomes a problem when we see how Mom and Dad and Teacher and Priest and Grandpa react to your statement. It becomes dirty. It becomes sexual.
Homosexuality is seen throughout nature and history. Situational homosexuality like that seen in prisons is not homosexuality. It is sex. A human being, when completely libidinous and unfiltered, would fuck a shower drain if he is told that it ‘feels really good’. The urban myths of peanut butter and dogs and horses and the famous Mexican donkey shows come from a perverted concept of sexuality. It isn’t sexuality, it is sex. There is a marked difference when we discuss one’s sexuality and ones sex life. Prisoners who engage in homosexual intercourse do not identify themselves as homosexual. And there are many people who are married who would identify themselves as bi-sexual but do not engage in sex with someone outside of their marriage. How can this be?
It’s easy and this is the point that trips up those individuals who feel the need to ‘protect the children’ and ‘protect society’ and ‘defend family values’. If we spent less time wondering what two homosexuals were doing in the bedroom and focused on their love, we wouldn’t be so torqued up about this issue. We would also not hear arguments that creating legislation to allow same sex marriage would lead to adults marrying children or goats. Once again, this is an argument focused on the sex act and not on relationships. Love is love. Commitment to someone looks the same whether both of you are boys, girls, or a boy and girl. For all the time these people say they are disgusted with what homosexuals do, they spend an awful amount of time talking about it. Why not focus on the relationship between two people? Why not focus on the fact that we make it impossible for them to create a home and live a happy life in this relationship? Why do we focus on the bedroom instead of seeing that refusing them the right to be recognized as spouses denies them of nearly 1400 perks we take for granted. Perks like being recognized as next of kin. Perks like being responsible for them in case of emergency. Perks like making the decision to perform medical procedures. These are things that ‘us’ straight couples presuppose. If they ever told me that I couldn’t visit my critically ill partner in the hospital because I wasn’t family, I would freak the fuck out!
The world would be a better place if we stopped being obsessed with sex and placed more value in relationships. The world would be a better place if the United States stepped out of the 50’s and into the new millennia like most of the western world. CoupleDumb believes in equality. Whether you are an adult black marrying an adult white or an adult man marrying an adult man or an adult woman marrying an adult woman or a guy and girl, love should be celebrated.
I wholeheartedly agree. A few decades ago, people freaked out if two people of different skin colors wanted to get married. A black man marrying a white woman or a black woman marrying a white man? That was an abomination of nature! Horrible! A sin unlike any other! And so on and so forth. People were so wrapped up in the color of the couple's skin that they couldn't see the love that the couple shared.
I wasn't alive at the time, but I'm guessing that many of the same arguments that are used to oppose same sex marriage were used for inter-racial marriage. The slippery slope argument ("if you allow this, pretty soon you'll be allowing HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCE #57!"), the raising kids argument ("people like this can't raise kids because the people who raised me weren't like that!"), and the ever popular Bible argument ("According to the way I read the Bible, this is wrong, therefore God opposes it... why else would He let me read the Bible this way?")
Hopefully, when it is time for my kids to get married, society will see gay marriage the way we see inter-racial marriage today: Just another marriage, nothing really to raise an eyebrow about, and perhaps some historical curiosity about why anyone would have opposed such unions.