THE Relationship Blog
Monday, we began the discussion of the evolution of a marriage. We know that some of you may balk at the word and we know that evolution is misunderstood, so we decided to break it down for you. So, consider this your 4th grade review of evolution and how that applies to your marriage.
1. Classical Evolution is a change across successive generations which create diversity and suitability for different habitats. Evolution can occur to acclimate, assimilate and integrate oneself in new surroundings. The concept of evolution is not just a fancy theory used to describe how humans came to be on this planet but it is also used to describe how most things emerge and grow. Even Darwin studied the evolution of emotions. When did fear come into being? What is the purpose of love?
2. No, a monkey is not your uncle but we can say that it is a distant cousin. And, come on, we all have cousins that remind us of animals. Don’t we?
3. Certain human attributes developed over time for different reasons. The evolution of relationships came from the need to stay together to survive.
4. Getting married triggers an evolutionary shift. Pairing up is a sign of sexual maturity and getting married, or publicly committing to a sexual partner, is a sign of emotional maturity. You are seen differently in the culture and you have different expectations placed on you. Survival demands that you meet the expectations and grow. Those who are unwilling to develop emotionally, despite making a public declaration, are seen as less than.
5. Statistically, married people live longer, make more money and report being happier. This is all part of the socio-biological-economical evolution of man.
6. Developmentally, a person goes through stages in life. If we fail to move forward and grow, we run the risk of ‘failing’ at life. The ‘failure’ is seen as a set-back, stuckness and even mental health issues such as depression. Changing is a normal function and those who fight it remain on the sidelines.
7. Crises and stress bring about change. Change can create transformation which triggers an emotional evolution.
See?! How easy is all that? So, to recap:
- Change is good.
- Evolution is natural
- Change and survive
- Evolve and thrive