We have been talking about the myths of love and there is no bigger myth producer and promoter than the media. In fact, so many of my celebrity smackdowns have been about the media messing us up on a regular basis (that and Lindsay ‘my rock-bottom is so deep that I need a hard hat, ropes and carabineers to reach it’ Lohan’) that we figure you know this already. We are the media and yet are unwilling to continue to perpetrate this crime on society. So, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, more myths and crap to dispel.
Lee says: Today’s myth is actually what I like to call ‘my foil’. As a therapist, this is what I would hear from people all the time. I would be told this excuse, reason, crock whenever I would even mention what I did for a living. The reality is it is so wrong that I have no idea where they even started this one.
Myth: Time heals all wounds.
Perhaps they created this one before we actually conceived of time as something more linear and less relative. The reality is that time is your enemy when it comes to matters of the heart ‘injuries’. What we do as time goes by is become very good at covering up the pain and rationalizing it.
Let’s play a game. I want you to close your eyes and remember something that happened to you as a child; preferably, something your parents did to you, or forgot to do, or promised you, or said to you. Now, before you explain away your parents’ behavior with excuses like ‘it was a different time’, ‘my parents didn’t know any better’, ‘they had a lot of stress’, ‘the tooth grew back’, take a second and honor that child. Take a second and use some of that energy to feel what that child felt. You were hurt and that hurt does not scab over and heal like new. It just sits there like a bruise on your heart that won’t go away.
These ouchies and the ones we pick up on the road of life like the guy who called me fat or the stupid chick who screamed when Paul asked her to dance stay under the surface but do not just go away. This is why we don’t open up to people. We fear breaking the dams. We fear if we allow them to hurt us it would hurt more than a scream or a chubby comment. We don’t have a millennium to wipe away all our memories. I say gangrene works faster than time and these hurts will eat you up just like cutting off the blood supply will kill your tissues. Pretending they don’t exist is really as stupid as thinking your foot will be fine when has turned black.
Paul says: Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince who fell in love with beautiful princess. During a fit of passion, the lovely princess stabbed the prince with a knife given to her by the fairy queen. When the royal couple finally calmed down, the prince said, ‘Do not worry, my fair. Time heals all wounds’. And, do you know what happened after that? The prince bled like a stick pig. Then he got a very painful infection that turned the more lovely shade of jade. And then he died.
Like so many of these myths, the only place where people apply it is to affairs of the heart. We do not apply it to cancer. ‘Don’t worry about that giant growth on your neck. Time heals all.’ We would never use it to justify poor construction. ‘Yes, the house leans but time will heal that.’ If your airplane pilot gets on the speaker and announces, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, the ground seems to be coming at us at 750 miles per hour but don’t worry, time heals al…’ Well, say hi to God for me.