Good Monday all! We just finished a weekend therapy tune up and are tired today. We still have much to do and we figure we’ll be in therapy in some way for the rest of our lives. This Thursday, we will going LIVE on the Blog Talk Radio and doing a special Father’s Day edition of CoupleDumb. We have some cool guys coming to be on our show and a very special one calling in. If you have any Daddy issues, give us a call on Thursday. Have we mentioned before that we think people should work out their emotional issues? We think so but just in case, here is a whole post about it.
Lee says: As a therapist, of course I am a big proponent of psychotherapy. However, you would be surprised how many therapists avoid it like Mexico City and a pulled pork sandwich. Let’s face it, coming to grips with trauma and the nasty things of our past is scary. We pretend they don’t affect us but we know the truth. We pretend these horrible secrets are unique to us when we know rationally that there are millions of other victims, perpetrators and innocent bystanders out there.
So why do we hold on to the pain? You do understand that that is exactly what you are doing, don’t you? Sometimes the pain becomes a comfort to us. It is what we know. There are people who really know and experience happiness but to those with a past (which would be all of us) those people are freaks. Pain is a shield and I dare anyone to peal it away from the still very open emotional wounds. They are the enigma in the room with that far away stare of suffering that we have seen so many times from people. They are the women that every man wants to protect and the man every woman wants to take care of.
But is the prospect of happiness that scary? Happiness is real. It is a true possibility in a person’s life. The fear comes from the idea that happiness can be fleeting. It’s like offering someone the opportunity to be a millionaire for one day and at the end, everything goes back to what it was before. Would you do it? Initially, most people would say yes but ultimately, few would do it. The let-down and the yearning usually prove to be too much for most people. Thus it is with happiness. We make choices to avoid it. We burden, over schedule and berate ourselves when we are doing well. God forbid we should experience an ounce of success. That could lead to improved self esteem and, heaven forefend, the glimmer of a happier life.
Therapy is for the courageous. Therapy is for those people who fear a mediocre life and know that they are destined for something better. Therapy is for anyone and everyone that feels they deserve to be loved in a healthy way.
When I was practicing, I usually would tell the client how brave they were being. It wasn’t a line, I really feel this way. And I will say to all those therapists out there, get thee to a colleague as soon as possible. Your clients will go as far as you do and you can never understand the full extent of what you do until you have gone through it. In other words, you are being a hypocrite so clean up your own house before facilitating the scrubbing of someone else’s home.
Paul says: I have a standing philosophy that, twice a year, one should see their doctor, dentist, spiritual leader and therapist. This, for me, is healthy preventive medicine. And they must be different but be in line with my beliefs. I do not have surgery and a hair cut from the same person (though here in Hialeah that is a possibility). So my priest is not my therapist and my doctor is not my priest. My dentist is always my dentist. Nobody else wants his job.
I believe all therapist should keep doing their healing journey. A big issue is finding the correct approach to the healing journey. For me, talk therapy is good but I use "Hypnotherapy" "Breath Work" and "Psychodrama Work," to get me to places that talk therapy cannot reach.
If I may be so bold to say to individuals who are seeking counseling, ask you therapist if he/she is working on their issues. If they say no or it is none of your business, then seek other sources!