10 Lessons To Learn Before Going To College (Part 1)
THE Relationship Blog
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Our daughter will be in her new home on August 18th. She will be living three states away from us; a mere 17 hours. She will be sharing a room with a stranger, eating food prepared by strangers and generally surrounded by individuals that have no concept of who she is and everything she has gone through to be at this point of her life. She will not have Mommy and Daddy championing her every day and twice on some. We have less than 2 months to share all of our pearls of wisdom which will undoubtedly fall on deaf ears (because she’s deaf and only puts on her hearing aids when we bitch at her). We decided to write these life lessons down so she could look them up and remind herself every now and then. So, without further ado, the 10 things we wish someone would have told us before we went to college/left home:
10. You don’t need anyone to validate you.
I didn’t learn that one until I was 30 years old. Oh, who am I kidding, I was 40 years old and still working on that issue. At Jeannie’s age, my friends had general rein of my emotions. If everybody was happy, so was I. If someone needed a hand, I had 2. I was the go-to person for everyone and absent for my own needs. Now, I am not saying that I don’t want my daughter to be giving and loving. Of course I want that for her! But, I want her to be able to tell her so-called friends, ‘You know what? You’re a bitch and I deserve better.’ Personally, I wish she would do that now to one friend in particular but time will take care of that problem.
9. You can reinvent yourself a million times over but your essence will always be the same.
When we are young we think that our life decisions will be set in stone. When we are older and on career # 45, we realize that all that gnashing of teeth and sleepless nights were wastes of time. We are like cats; 9 lives and very bouncy. We are given this idea that the decisions we make at a very young age will remain on our permanent record. We are made to believe that life is a just a compilation of your schools cumulative records. We are made to believe that our GPA is who we are. I’m 45 and I have never been asked at a job interview what my GPA was. That’s right! The asshole who drank through college and graduated with a 2.5 is just as employable as a wallflower with a 4.0 and probably a lot more fun. Now please don’t get the impression that I want you to piss away your college years drinking but I do want you to enjoy yourself. And as for your career, you can change that as you evolve as a human being. We are not statues. We grow and change and so will your career.
8. Be your champion.
There are a million people lining up to kick you in the teeth when you are down. Don’t jump on the bandwagon. It is easier to demean than to elevate. Be the better person and champion yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell that young woman she is a sexy beast who deserves the universe on a platter. The negativity of the general population is something that your parents have tried to generally avoid. Only surround yourself with positive people who will be loyal to you. You can allow them and yourself 20 minutes of wallowing but then cut that shit out. If you need a life preserver, call your parents. We have been your champions for 18 years and are always willing to jump in the ring.
You will need to come back for the rest of the list. Mommy is going to go find a Kleenex. These damned allergies!